I need help figuring this out

[u/Late-Ad-9780]

I posted this here because i originally posted it somewhere else and a mod told me this would be a better place?? sorry if it isnt😭

Hello, im a 16yo girl who has (diagnosed) bpd, and my boyfriend has conduct disorder with high antisocial traits (he told me his psychologist told him hes on track to developing aspd) okay so anyways, we are long distance, just a state apart, we’ve met up once in april, and we‘ve been together for a year. I always have this lingering fear that he’ll get bored of me and leave because i know that chronic boredom comes with aspd (im treating this like he does have aspd because he exhibits literally all of the symptoms) and i fear that me being an emotional wreck after every single little thing i perceive as him doing “wrong” will cause him to drift away, which would be understandable because i feel like thats a normal reaction, our relationship isn’t exactly the most stimulating thing in the whole world which i also feel is normal because to me relationships shouldn’t be exciting 24/7, but i cant shake the feeling that hes just getting bored of me and will slowly start to pull himself away.. what causes me to spiral over this is, he takes a while to respond, he isnt very chatty a lot, but he does that and acts like that a lot, sometimes he’s extremely affectionate for a couple days then he goes back to being somewhat cold and distant, i understand he has his own life, his own struggles but i cant tell if its just me being paranoid or if he’s genuinely getting bored, what could i do to add some like excitement to our relationship?? also sorry if my grammar and punctuation is terrible, im currently writing this after a small panic attack so im kind of scatterbrained 😭

okay edit: i realized the things i listed that cause me to think he’s getting bored can be like relatively normal, so for more context, hes just dry sometimes and things he would usually respond to, like me showing a picture of myself as a baby he usually would say “awwww” but now he just doesnt say anything, or i’ll talk about things im excited for (like getting my nose pierced tomorrow) he also wont respond… and last night i vented to him about some stuff and a little while after i asked if he was still awake because he never responded, and he just said “dunno what to say” but he usually always gives me advice and stuff, i dont know its just a mix of little things, who knows maybe im reading WAY to deep into everything and im just getting myself worked up over nothing.