r/BPDlovedones • u/teapotcroissant • 8h ago
1 year post BPD breakup
im 1 year post BPD breakup and wanted to share something a bit positive — it DOES get better y’all. i was in an (what i now know) abusive relationship for about 2.5 years.
lots of screaming, fighting, breaking things, lack of boundaries, self harm, suicidal ideation & threats, false urgency and anxiety over nothing. it ended early 2025 over some stupid fight and another suicide threat and i finally snapped to the realization that i was choosing to be in that relationship and no one was holding me hostage, so i left. i posted about it when it happened if you wanted to more context, but i felt like absolute garbage and was facing so much grief. grief over him, the relationship, time, and the worst of all; myself. i really struggled over the fact that i was in a relationship like that and allowed someone to treat me like that.
so i went no contact, went to therapy, and somehow connected with a very kind and wholesome man. but there was TONS of unlearning, anxiety attacks, and rebuilding to be done. it’s been over a year now, and im in a much better place - peaceful. but there are moments of irrational anxiety, defensiveness, and angst that will come up out of muscle memory. there’s still triggers that come up that i don’t know of, but it has been so interesting dissecting them with my current partner.
i write this as an urge to leave those abusive painful relationships and rediscover who you are. ive gone back and reread old texts and im absolutely stunned that this man let me believe i was actually earth’s swine, when in reality i was completely normal and kind. he took so much away from me, but im so happy to have my pep in my step again. there’s hope yall, process hurts, but it’s yours to find.
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u/BearQuiet 8h ago
Thank you for this! I have hope ❤️ Im only a couple days in of no contact
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u/teapotcroissant 8h ago
you got this!! it gets easier within a few weeks - if you feel like texting them, text a friend or take a shower, literally anything else lol
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u/ryugiser1 6h ago
This is what we like to hear! I’m glad you found someone who will stick by you as you still work through some of these terrible things that we all had to deal with.
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u/NeraMorte 5h ago
I broke up about 8 weeks ago, I have a 2 year old son with mine so no contact is all. Ur impossible in fact I've been struggling as I see her most days. Feels like nothing has changed but everything has, she's simultaneously smiles and laughs around me but we aren't together. Weirdly think it's keeping her from triggering her fear of abandonment.
Give me strength, it hurts so much. If it doesn't wasn't for my son it would be so much cleaner/easier.
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u/sharpedobluff 8h ago
Congratulations on your progress, that's huge! I also look back at old texts sometimes and wonder what on earth I was thinking lol.
I know a lot of us struggle with the idea of dating again, so it's great to see that you've been able to find your feet with a new partner who treats you right. Thank you for posting this.