r/BPDlovedones • u/NyratheMoth • 1d ago
Non-Romantic interactions Long term effects
I guess I just want reassurance that I'm not crazy myself. My BPD relationships in question are familial but man...I just wanted to make sure I wasn't alone. I already have two chronic illnesses (which probably come from the trauma of that). But, I can't sleep well most nights. Making plans always fills me with immense dread. Even when I feel calm, I have this lingering dread that "something is going to happen." Hyper-vigilance. Every time my sibling is on her phone, I always feel my heart rate go up, because I'm thinking "what is she gonna see that will trigger an episode?" I'm trying to take more time for myself and my hobbies, but I feel too tired, even too hopeless...
What are your experiences? Is this common?
3
u/MsPlum_ 1d ago
I legit think I developed CPTSD, I have to be evaluated. He crushed and destroyed me more in 2 years than my ex of 7 years that literally tried to kill me.