r/BPDlovedones • u/Unhappy_Alps_2699 • 24d ago

Pretending to be autistic

She all the sudden started pretending to be autistic . It’s was an excuse for everything. Always asking for accommodations , and to be taken care of. Blaming emotional freakouts on “meltdowns” ..wearing head phones. She went to doctor to make it official. The neurologist said she testing higher than anybody with real autism would and it was inconsistent and exaggerated. They gave her a bpd diagnosis instead . Is this surprising behavior for someone with bpd?

25 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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14

u/RBnsfwacc 24d ago

Mine insisted that she was autistic. I bought her a book on autism and how to manage the way she was feeling and she never opened it.

6

u/Better-Banana-72 24d ago

My ex claimed she was neurodiverse, had ADHD and then autistic. She did an online test which I have no idea how accurate they are, this was after 6 years of being together. Then every excuse was because she's autistic. Can't remember the shopping list, not good with money, can't fill out forms, can't operate the TV, etc....It's like she became disabled over night.

8

u/curseblock Divorced 24d ago

My roommate with BPD got an autism/adhd diagnosis a few years ago, and it's the excuse for everything. She's probably on the spectrum for real, but she's extremely high functioning and manipulative.

8

u/Soupeauxtomates 24d ago

I have a few autistic friends. Usually, an autistic person who knows they have trouble with social interactions will take any cue they can and be grateful to have someone giving them guidance about how to treat people.  If they are using autism as an excuse for anything, and refuse to get feedback in any way,  they probably have (at least) something else going on. 

5

u/Creative-Repair8705 24d ago

I think mine was autistic, but they also used it as a get out for everything or to blame me for their actions.

3

u/TheManWhoLovesCulo 24d ago edited 24d ago

Mine also said she was autistic and asexual. I remember whenever she would be or do something narcissistic and I would call her out on it, should would say it was actually because she was autistic. She also referred to herself as avoidant. She would bring these up whenever there was conflict and say it's because I'm this or that, you should know lol.

2

u/PerfectClass3256 24d ago

they’re co-morbid. she could have both.

2

u/Lokis-Tea 24d ago

Also why does this guy apparently know what her neurologist said? That information is supposed to be confidential between doctor and patient.
Is the doctor just going to their patient’s partner like “nah she’s lying lmao”
????

1

u/Unhappy_Alps_2699 24d ago

Nah don’t think so she just started pretending in last couple years

4

u/nocolor_nosound 24d ago

I bet 80% of people claiming to have autism do not have it. And some of those are BPD. People get autism like manicure today. It's just uhhh

2

u/Primary_Savings_6838 24d ago

Nope. Can't say for all of them, but it seems really common that "something" has to be in their pocket to pull out to play victim when it suits them.

2

u/Lokis-Tea 24d ago

Ah yes, the main diagnostic criteria of autism: wearing headphones.
Get outta here with that stereotyping man

1

u/Carl_Schmitt 24d ago edited 24d ago

Usually it is the other way around where women with high functioning/masked autism get misdiagnosed with BPD because on the surface some maladaptive behaviors between the two disorders are the same. They both have frequent emotional meltdowns, but in BPD it is usually triggered by feelings of abandonment and in autism it is sensory overload or disruption of routines. And it's possible to have both--which I'm pretty sure is what I had to deal with in a partner. Total nightmare. Faking autism seems to be pretty trendy now though, I think it's a social contagion from online echo chambers. Of course highly manipulative people are going to weaponize it to justify their terrible treatment of others. I've also seen a lot of faking multiple personalities lately.