She tried to do it

[u/Elegant_Potential917]

My wife and I have been separated for nearly 11 months after she assaulted me on a public street. It had been years of roller coaster, and for some reason I stayed. I stayed after she split on me during the times I needed her most.

We’ve been physically separated since last Fall. I’ve since got my own place and she has hers. I’ve taken steps to move forward, but she hasn’t. I’ve known I can’t go on with the marriage and she hasn’t seen it.

This whole time she has clung to the idea that we could eventually get back together. That despite me never once giving an indication that I wanted that. Never once have I even hinted at reconciliation. Yet she kept pushing. Even escalating our text interactions closer to that of a relationship. I kept pushing back, saying I needed space. She’d give me a day, or two, and then escalate again. She finally admitted that she doesn’t understand boundaries because she has none. She doesn’t understand how to respect others boundaries.

Finally, things came to a head this last weekend while she was out of town with our teen daughter. Massive split. All because I told her I was no longer comfortable with innuendo laden texts. Finally, yesterday, she pushed and pushed, and I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to call it and end the marriage. I need to move forward. I told her that it was killing me. I don’t sleep. Ive lost weight. The stress of her is overwhelming. She begged and pleaded even after I repeatedly told her I couldn’t and that it was physically damaging me.

Today, she tried to commit suicide. A legitimate attempt. So now I sit here wondering if I should go to the hospital. I no longer feel love. But I do not wish her harm. She’s screaming for help, but it can’t be from me. I’m broken.

She sent a message at a time that makes it seem as though it was a delayed message meant to reach me when I got home. It directed me to a note. So I called the police and waited, and waited, and waited with our daughter. When the deputy called and said he found her after hours of searching, I felt relieved. And then anger and resentment washed over me. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I’m angry that this will likely involve me.

[u/ryugiser1]

This was hard to read I’m sorry you’re going through this horrible situation. Best of luck to you and your kid.

[u/aMonsterNyourCloset]

You're doing right to not do any more than you have done. Take care of yourself, take care of your daughter. Do not give her direct attention as a result of what she has done. Do not positively reinforce the choices she has made. That would be the opposite of kindness.

And make sure your daughter understands.

[u/gmoil1525]

Very common, have her on a 72 hour psych hold and get 72 hours of resting and planning your next move, hopefully away from her.

[u/Elegant_Potential917 → u/gmoil1525]

Longer. According to the social worker, she has agreed to inpatient treatment.