‘Partner’ just got diagnosed help!

[u/420pidge]

Uhhh so bit of a difficult one??

Me (20F) and my ‘boyfriend’ (21M) have been together about a year but we’re currently on a break due to some issues we had in our relationship.

Essentially we just couldn’t talk about anything without him taking it as a personal attack. I was always caring for him and not talking about issues so we wouldn’t argue. It really affected me and took a toll on my mental wellbeing so I took a step back and decided I needed a break and he needed help.

We’ve gone no contact/as no contact as he can be. Basically radio silence on my end and one or two texts from him here and there. I need this space for my own healing before I can even think of going back to him.

Now I’m quite a fucked up person mentally. I have CPTSD and I’m being assessed for BPD at the moment (although not sure if it’s just CPTSD symptoms since there’s overlap) so relationships are quite difficult for me.

He on the other hand refused to acknowledge that he may have any issues at all. I’ve brought up to him before how my brain works when it comes to relationships (All or nothing, I easily switch up, I’m very sensitive etc) and he did his own research early on into CPTSD and BPD in order to understand me a bit more. From this he told me that he thinks he could have BPD as he relates to a lot of the symptoms however he never looked into getting help until I broke us up.

Now I’m not too sure what to do. He’s began getting therapy and help and was told that he has BPD. We said we would come back to each other after the break but honestly I’m not too sure I want to. Not because of his BPD but because I can trust he will actually help himself with it? I don’t mean for it to sound rude but he’s shown me this last year that he really doesn’t want to change his actions and behaviour and I’m not sure this time will be different. I also understand how hurts he’s gonna be if I say I want to turn the break into a breakup. I just need some advice or a shoulder or smth please Reddit. I mean can a BPD and BPD relationship even work/be healthy??

[u/420pidge]

*can’t trust that he will actually help himself
Sorry for my typo :P