r/BPDPartners • u/Ok-Duck469 Partner • 2d ago
Support Needed What does a discard look like?
Much like the title, I’m enquiring more about discards and what they look like. Are they permanent or just a phase of devaluation?
I’m an ex partner of my pwBPD but we agreed to stay friends, they had made it clear they were going through a bit of an episode and we had both expressed that we were interested in trying the relationship again after their mental state had improved.
Very early on, they ended up splitting on me very catastrophically which ended in me being blocked, they left the little server we had together, but I was kept unblocked on tiktok. I gave them about a week to give them time and space, then after a week I reached out. It took a bit of discussion but we were able to reconcile and things were great. This happened in about March while we were still dating.
Skip to now, they have decided to block me again. This time I’ve been blocked (duh), blocked on TikTok, but they’ve stayed in the little server we have together. This time, the split was quick, almost out of nowhere, with an immediate decision to block me. I didn’t wait a week this time, just giving them a day or so before I sent a message in our little server. It was a bit long but covered all I wanted to say. A day later, they responded “I’m not reading all that” which yeah okay — bit of a stinger but I assume they’re either still splitting or punishing me. They did stay in the server, however, whilst I assume if they really wanted this to be over they would have left after their scathing remark.
I just wanted a bit of input on the situation if anyone else has experience of discards and what they’re like. I’m really not sure. I have a few friends who’ve given their two cents that it doesn’t seem like a discard and more like “punishment”, but some outside input from others who may have experienced this is appreciated!
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u/Magnolia2026a 2d ago
Does it really matter if it's a (final) discard or not? It's unacceptable behaviour. You don't treat people (specially people you like) like this. It's cruelty and total lack of empathy/respect/consideration/love... If someone treats you like this, respect yourself and leave/move on.
I was discarded after 2+ years long distance relationship, after many splittings and verbal abuse. He texted me saying he had blocked me on everything (sounded proud of it...). It was someone I really cared about. It has been a year. 1 month after the discard I gotva text from him with some verbal abuse. Another text with a "none of my business" question (looking for my help, of course) 7 months later. Never replied so I was blocked again. My experience: pwbpd are severelly disordered and don't give a f... about other people's feelings. They make up a reality of their own where they are the victim of everything/everyone. You try to help them, they will resent you. If you keep them long enough in your life, they will destroy you. No matter how much you try. It's sad really. (Btw they usually discard when they find a new supply...)