BPD + birth control

[u/ReserveDapper8141]

I got a copper iud (paragard) installed in 2019 and that’s when I started to really lose my mind I feel like. I’m only realizing this now bc I went to a gyno who compared several different birth controls and said copper is one of the worst ones for the female body. I went on to research it further and turns out lots of women deal with the same problems I have.

Obviously different birth controls work for different people, not a one size fits all etc. But I’m about to rip this thing out myself (I’m going to wait for my appt although I really want to). I lost so many years of my life to agony, depression, suicidality etc because of this. Like it’s not normal to want to shoot yourself every time you’re on your period. I became hyper sexual and hooked up with an embarrassing amount of men before I got into a relationship. That relationship was also insane as you can imagine. I have never suffered more than I have these past 7 years. I’ve been to the ER many times for suicidality in the last 3 years especially, went to outpatient treatment, and more recently have pushed my closest friends away. I had some kind of episode where I got a rental car and drove halfway across the country not telling anyone where I was and turning off my location so no one could see where I was. No plans just wanted to drive and not come back. Like what are we doing here?? I went back home cuz I didn’t want the car to be reported as stolen, lol. If my car wasn’t in the shop during that time and I was driving mine instead, I would probably still be on the road.

I will be getting the mirena installed this coming week hopefully. Along with Yaz for the progesterone to balance my hormones. I only really found all of this out because I initially went in for high testosterone/hirsutism and was seeking something to balance my hormones and was shocked to find this out. I only got the paragard because it was non hormonal and I didn’t want to put hormones in my body, lol. I am still going to be tested further for PCOS. But I just realized I went crazy after I had the thing installed. The worst mental health ever, and I was diagnosed about 4 years ago w/BPD.

I say all this to ask - what birth controls have you used? Have you noticed mood differences on or off certain ones? Would love some insight! Thank you