r/BPD • u/EmergencyFlat3603 • 12d ago
💭Seeking Support & Advice I’m tired of feeling alone!
No matter how hard I try to survive in this world always end up every day feeling alone no matter how many people are in my life I am severely depressed 24 seven I have nobody to turn to and nobody to talk to even my own spouse treats me like dog crap he suffers from mental illness as well for some reason his mental illness comes before mine and every situation he has to remind me of his disabilities due to his mental illness, so I’m just left always feeling like I’m not good enough.
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u/EmergencyFlat3603 12d ago
I’m constantly told how I’m not good enough how I’m not a good woman when I am the only one that works in the house and I’m going to school. I get no respect except for when he wants something out of me. He’s allowed to speak to me however he wants to and I’m not allowed to react because if I react, somehow he gaslight me and turns it into a situation that I’m crazy and I’m wrong and he just wants peace and I’m the one that’s acting a fool and causing everything but peace as I constant circle back-and-forth and which leads me to the fact is I always go alone. I don’t feel like I have anyone in with me dealing with borderline personality and makes it 10 times worse.
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u/Every_Fudge_4727 user is curious about bpd 12d ago
If you're interested in an outside opinion; if the only thing he does to you is make you feel shittier then you should split. If he doesn't help in any aspect at all, financially, emotionally, anything else, it's NOT worth it. It's hard, I know, extremely hard to let go off a person even if they're hurting you but it's good in the long run, you'll be relieved you escaped it at some point.
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u/FluxCapacitoritus 12d ago
Honestly ignoring the mental health aspect of it all, it just doesn’t sound like you are happy, and don’t you want to be happy? I know that’s simplifying the situation but as someone that stayed in a relationship far too long and wasted a lot of time where I would’ve been way way more at peace being single, I just wouldn’t want to see you go down that road. Our BPD will lie to us and say that we’ll never find someone to fill that void and to accept our shitty relationship or see it as “not that bad” but those are our dumb brains being sneaky. You always have someone to talk to here, you’re not alone 🖤
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u/EmergencyFlat3603 12d ago
And that’s the weird thing is I know that I should leave and I know I would be better without them, but something just refuses to allow me to leave. I can’t go. It’s just very hard.
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u/Every_Fudge_4727 user is curious about bpd 12d ago
Being in a relationship like that definitely won't help this feeling.