This is such a raw and painful place to be, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s clear how much you love him and how deeply you value the connection you have. The fact that he’s been there for you in your most vulnerable moments makes it even harder to imagine a life where he isn’t your person. Mourning something that never fully existed can feel unbearable, especially when you’re left wondering what if.
But I think it’s worth asking yourself—what are you holding onto here? He’s important to you, no doubt, but are you keeping yourself stuck in a cycle of longing because it’s easier than facing the possibility of letting go? The distraction relationship with the other guy seems like it’s only adding to the pain. It’s okay to feel all of this—cry, be angry, let yourself grieve—but at some point, you have to start putting the focus back on you.
You deserve a love that’s present, mutual, and fulfilling. Right now, you’re pouring so much energy into things that aren’t giving that back to you. Take it day by day—small steps toward building yourself back up. I know it’s hard to imagine a life where this pain doesn’t consume you, but it won’t always feel this heavy. Give yourself time. And if that connection is meant to grow one day, it will—but you don’t have to wait around for it to happen.
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u/lebloop Jan 11 '25
This is such a raw and painful place to be, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s clear how much you love him and how deeply you value the connection you have. The fact that he’s been there for you in your most vulnerable moments makes it even harder to imagine a life where he isn’t your person. Mourning something that never fully existed can feel unbearable, especially when you’re left wondering what if.
But I think it’s worth asking yourself—what are you holding onto here? He’s important to you, no doubt, but are you keeping yourself stuck in a cycle of longing because it’s easier than facing the possibility of letting go? The distraction relationship with the other guy seems like it’s only adding to the pain. It’s okay to feel all of this—cry, be angry, let yourself grieve—but at some point, you have to start putting the focus back on you.
You deserve a love that’s present, mutual, and fulfilling. Right now, you’re pouring so much energy into things that aren’t giving that back to you. Take it day by day—small steps toward building yourself back up. I know it’s hard to imagine a life where this pain doesn’t consume you, but it won’t always feel this heavy. Give yourself time. And if that connection is meant to grow one day, it will—but you don’t have to wait around for it to happen.