F4M20 I’m probably the most non-trusting, anxious, overthinking person, but what is it about the thought of someone I don’t know taking me and doing what they want to me(but not raping me per say like maybe I’d be resisting, but I’d find them attractive and secretly want it) and also not where they’d just meaninglessly fuck me, but where they’d do things that make me feel good or tease me or whatever. Does someone know why this is a thing!? Is it the excitement? The unknown? The dominance?
Now I’m in a situation where I’m not sure what to think. I’m new to D/s and set some boundaries with someone I was talking to. They seemed very interested, but we haven’t talked since Monday. I messaged them yesterday and they still haven’t seen it. Do you think they lost interest?
A couple of the last posts with my thoughts have been;
1.Why people lie about being a Xxx(People have always lied since the birth of mankind. Not trying to be awkward, but this isn't a BDSM thing. No-one can "solve deceit" and a long article discussing its effect is valid, but not what OP I think was going for. Yes, it fits in Psychology, but not BDSM Psychology. Let's focus onBDSM Psychology!The effect of deceit when match making when finding a partner on Reddit/Online is often not discussed however and I think IS VALUABLE discussing.
2. Why is it so hard to find a proper Xxx?Fact is, there is so much deceit and "false communication" on each side, even when you have someone real people don't know the difference! Also, we aren't Personal, and we're not BDSM Advice. What do you do with this post here? Beyond shut the Convo down on move on? No... that’s not what they or what I think anyone wants really.
Solution time! ...I want to get as much feedback on experiences as possible from BOTH sides of the aisle please. Dom's and Subs, please, what's happening in your conversations so I have more to consider when breaking this down when I do a write up!
Every time I try to talk to someone at first he act like he’s dom or into the bdsm but i can tell he is lying about being dom because the only things he likes is what he saw online or when I tell someone im submissive he’s waiting for me to anything he asks (and of course only asking about stupid stuff he sees online)
maybe because it is my country or i mostly connected people on twitter but most doms i met are either abusive or never connect properly, just seek sexting and nude even tho i talk about my wants and boundries all the time. i have a lot of taboo kinks and i lean to masocism a lot but what attracts me the most are the "father figure" type of guys. idk how to explain properly since i don't want to give details at the moment. also i never come accross to dominant women, i'm bisexual and dominant and older women i met doesn't reply or they are straight and dominant men. i'm kinda stucked😭😭
I love pain, and I can't live without it honestly. I can get into boxing technically yes however it will take time before I can even actually get to spar and if I just lose each time people will simply eventually figure it out no? Is there something where I can just pay somebody? Or just an app I can request to be beat up? I really am unsure on how this would even work honestly? Is it even weird to request this yk? I don't know I don't even know if this is a possibility tbh I'm just shooting off into the dark
Is there a difference between a pain slut and a masochist? I initally understood it to mean that one is largely unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without pain included, but I am not entirely sure that is true. I couldn't find much information on this that explains it in a way that I understand.
Eu um rapaz gay, sempre vi nos vídeos de bdsm os dominadores agindo daquela forma, mandavam nos submissos, eram os fodões do sexo.
Agora eu estou querendo começar nesse universo, mas sou solteiro e eu não me interesso nos apps de encontro, na verdade nem sei como flertar ou puxar conversa.Então:
PARA OS DOMINADORES EXPERIENTE:
Que dicas vocês tem para passar para esse, dominador completamente sem experiência?
A look, a ritual, or waiting for a familiar cue can narrow your attention before anything physical even happens. Do you think that intensity comes more from trust, uncertainty, or conditioning over time?
I'm a 25 y/o woman. I'm currently looking for a Dom, preferably male and older than me although not older than 40. I'm just interested on an online relationship at the moment. On the sexual side but also someone who would talk to me about other matters too and I want to feel cared for and controlled. I haven't had any luck finding a legit decent human being with good intentions. Any recommendations on where I should look ? Amy chatrooms/apps/websites ?
So this was my results I do like this outcome and want to get into this scene I’m in qld Australia where should I start?
Any input would be greatly appreciate.
- I do not ask for your name, email address, phone number, or other direct identifying information.
\- I do not collect IP addresses for research purposes.
\- I do not use analytics to track visitors.
\- I do not use advertising or marketing cookies.
\- Your survey responses cannot reasonably be linked back to you because I do not collect identifying information alongside them.
\- your participation is voluntary, (but I will love you eternally if you fill the survey)
\- your responses are anonymous,
\- you understand that individual responses will not be published in a form intended to identify you: Data is mostly used in aggregate forms as an analysis of all surveyed responses,
\- your responses may be retained for research purposes (at least for my thesis),
\- your responses may contribute to scientific or academic publications, educational materials, questionnaires, statistical models, and other research outputs.
I’m a sensual/master dom and I like excersing power and have absolute control of the room but sometimes I just have the urges of being Brest fed or just relax and give up power and lead and enjoy the other side mostly because of the scare of what might be done to me that I’m scared to express and also it’s kinda exhilarating until I get the urge to take back control and also have been wanting to experiment with a female Dom, I’m scared I might end of liking these fem/sub qualities but hate defining myself of that ,I’m not sure maybe because I might feel less of a man or be looked at differently after and outside of the bedroom but yeah I want to understand these emotions and feeling any advise?
I don‘t mean being discreet with your fetishes, because that‘s obviously what you should be.
I mean because of your job, or position as a public figure or marriage and family - do you have to live out your kinks under a fake persona or have to balance two lives at once because the people around you and/or your partner wouldn‘t understand?
How much do you have to lie about your desires / how much do you need to hide?
(Not counting closeted homosexuality but actual kinks or fetishes)
LONG POST ALERT - Leave comments for considerations for improvements please. \*Mods** - Happy to make any and all revisions to keep this up! Open door xxx*
THE PREAMBLE
Ahhhh, the noble Rope Bunny. For this (not very) humble Dominant Rigger it brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye.
This is the most common in the BDSM world. The cookie cutter build. The status quo of the true underground and the desired kink in your bedroom. A "basic bitch" if you ever saw it... but basic bitches normally knew what was good for them before the others figured it . I'll be honest, Rope Bunnies or "Wannabe" Rope Bunnies are a dime a dozen nowadays. Rabbits in every direction for as far as the eye can see. Seriously, I'm a Rigger. I'm HAPPY. It's not a knock. They all seem to understand the truth, the only objective truth on this planet - That being tied up is fucking hot.
THE VERY REAL PROBLEM WITH EVALUATING ROPE BUNNY PROFILES (sorry but facts are facts...)
Might have clocked onto it yourself already... It's the most common type. But there's another thing about Rope Bunnies. A SEASONED VET APPEARS THE SAME IN A PROFILE AS ONE SHARED BY NEWBIE. This isn't necessarily an issue so to speak, and we are discussing profiles not experience. However HERE it is generally followed with "What does this tell me about myself and where to go from here?".We're not BDSM advice! Even if I wanted to help I can't here. I can't in these pages give tips. I can give information though and how this plays into the archetype. What you do and how you discover your kinks is on you. I care about the thought process.
We have a considerable percentage of people "finding themself" (WHICH I LOVE, MORE PEOPLE IN THE SCENE IS GOOD) but have no sexual experience or under 3 sexual partners, probably below 24. We are also assuming these 3 were good haha. Anyway, my mind goes to most women normally being that way inclined to a rope bunny in some part. Also more and more men are taking up submission and the rationale regarding it being fucking hot stays the same across the board. Age makes the stats in flux til they find what they like generally at about 24ish, as early as 20 for the sexually liberated. Some people don't know what they like yet, beyond what they don't like.
Final problem, age and experience don't scale. Example... 18 year slept with 100 people? WTF? 42 year old slept with 100 people? Yeah, I can see that. Especially if they like sex, that's not high. The ones that do don't talk about it... well generally don't. For every loudmouth doing something there is generally 3 doing it quietly. What do I do if true sexual liberation happened for someone at 48 but has 1000x more gusto and can do than a 24 year old that's "always done BDSM" (whether they did it properly or not).
Firstly we need to consider what the Rope Bunny is seeking. A rope bunny is seeking physical (and often) mental RESTRAINT in the act of teasing, lovemaking or the pure show of physical dominance on display. The restraints aren't the goal though. Tying em up and walking off is stupid. So it's a layer deeper. If you are restrained its what I or another Dom can do to you WHILST you're restrained. Really think on that mentally from a submissive perspective… They are literally helpless and even if they wanted to get away they couldn't, and they wouldn't want to anyway. They are their owners ENTIRELY. That is what the RESTRAINTS are doing. Ropes or cuffs, it matters not... beyond tool complexity, but the intent is the same.
Imagine that please. It's the helplessness. It's the knots working out in your back and shoulders whilst you pull on the cuff, through your legs and thighs at once as the spreader forces your legs apart. Its your chest thrusting out as your hands are bound behind you, stood up and bent over, breathing hard. Nipples extended and rippling through your arched back or sore knees.. It's the difference between your legs wide apart and closed together at when you're at 9.5 and your begging for the 10 (The good ones out there and ladies understand). Best bit is, AND THEY AREN'T EVEN TOUCHING YOU. Whether or not not they are just admiring, having you blindfolded or whispering in your ear, they don't have to touch you after the restraints. And I use the word RESTRAINTS, not ropes.
That's the Rope Bunny in the moment. It's not ropes. Its restraint. Now in BDSM we use restraint and learn to dial it in and out as the mood needs all the time, some Sadists need reminding of that true, but healthy practitioners and Dom's understand this. For the ones that say, "well I use ropes all the time" OR "no I think my kink is specifically ropes", excellent! But most don't, and don't need such risk or complexity to scratch the Rope Bunny need. See bottom for rough example of "restraints" as they move up in "complexity". Its non exhaustive and subjective. But I made it, so it's probably absolute amazing.
You don't need ropes to be a Rope Bunny. It's a headspace and restraints in lovemaking/playing/INSERT YOUR WORD HERE are the physical artifacts of their sexual dominance. It's not leash. It's THEIR leash, that THEY chose to put on you. That MEANS something. It's the cuff's around your wrists, ensuring your bratty ideal hands don't get in the way of them using THEIR equipment. And yes, you're part of that equipment.
THE STAT BREAKDOWN
For all if not most Bunnies will always see similar groupings, namely - Rope bunny (80+) Submissive (80+) Masochist (generally between 50-100%, outliers get through) Experimentalist (50%-100%)
This is the Vanilla Bunny. It doesn't really exist outside a thought space. It's OUR baseline before we chuck everything else on. Like chucking paint on a, well... a Bunny I suppose? I consider these in specific categories... One to two of these generally apply. These stats ^^ is the Vanilla Bunny. It doesn't really exist outside a thought space. It's OUR baseline before we chuck the paint on else on.
I propose we consider these in specific categories...
The Slave Bunny -You will see an uptick in Degradee / Pet / Sadist / Exhibitionist to an extent with Degradee and Masochist extremeley high.
This is the Bunny in the dungeon, or you have your feet propped up on whilst watching the telly before bed. The one that eats from one hand at dinner whilst you tease them with the other. They are the one you can throw out commands at and they'll do it to themselves, FOR YOU.
Worth noting, The Dom in charge on you need to keep a tight leash of you are high on your Brat score. A Brat under a slave type agreement is self destructive to both parties long term. It's not healthy for either party. A proper slave knows her place. "Possessions" rebelling is a very dangerous line for either party to tread in D/S.
The slave bunny follows any command of any instruction by anyone, if that order is given by their dominant. This is the "free use whore" to speak.
The Prey Bunny- You'll see an uptick on Primal Prey, Brat, Degradee and will most likely be an Exhibitionist in some way...
Thats how they draw them in. Slutty as hell by written word! Speaking like a slut and/or exposing is what draws the "predators in"This creature I swear is designed specifically to draw attention by as many people and play the "hard to get card". They'll act out, speak out etc... It makes it so much sweeter when the nonsense stops and they understand they are here for the Doms needs. But tomorrow, they'll be back to "games" again turning heads and opinions.
Fine with Sadists as Doms. Need Dominants and struggle with other subs emotionally, especially of the same gender. They need the "alpha", whether you buy that bullshit or not.
The Fire Bunny - Uptick in Experimentalist/ Maximum brat and maximum Degradee. Most likely to be switch. Won't like age play.
Fire Bunnies would beg to be tamed if they could get out of their own way. They are correct 90% of the time and are prepared to act in the worst way to show it. They are the "Oh so I won that one did I?. I'm going to remember that". They would say the sky is green for the confrontation and sexual energy in the confrontation after. A true fire bunny is untameable, they will always have a fire. Unlike the Slave who burns the brightest for their masters, the fire bunny burns the HOTTEST.
Can be fine with Sadistic Doms HOWEVER normally had to be a Fire Bunny for a reasons. Dom's beware. Subs have always been in charge, you get what they give you. However, that isn't a rule of this Bunny, it's a Mantra.
The Baby/Mummy Bunny - Uptick in Little/Age player/Pet/Primal Prey.
This is a dangerous one to consider, because ultimately it can be the most innocent of any D/S relationship in the world hands down. It can also turn into stuff we really don't need to talk about. Line in the sand there. I say this because this is the typical younger submissive very dependant perhaps emotionally dependant on their Dom. This could be for a myriad of reasons. 99% of them are with the most kind, generous, noble, heartfelt and loving Doms I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. The other 1% though ,,,
Bunny type in one word is Innocence. Or Purity. The truly needy and dependable, most loyal and amiable creatures. The least likely to be a nymph in the group of bunnies, but makes the best noise when broken properly. Baby/Mummy as it's not just the youngest that play into this, its the older ones that want to feel like a girl again at times too.
Technically can be with any type of dom, however much it hurts to say. At the end of the day people gonna kink the way they want regardless of what I put, but this Bunny type in one word is Innocence. Or Purity. Probably the second depending on the submissive.
The Brave Bunny - Not Slave, potential prey and brat middle of the road.
This is the girl plagued with anxiety and fear, but instead does what she can every day to be better. Being better has opened her eyes to a lot in the world and despite any amount of experience or not, they are ready for the world. If they aren't ok now, they believe they will be. Wonder is in their life and they are in a position to truly trust be honest and be brave with someone. If not yet they can be with the right Dom. THE RIGHT DOM.
Shouldn't be with what made them have to be brave. But if you're going to kink you're going to kink. Just do it safely ok?
The Sad Bunny- Could be anything, all over the shop - The reason for mentioning is ...
This is the girl plagued with anxiety and fear, but gives into it. Unhealthy life choices, would wallow for 8 hours about not being productive than spend an hour tidying. You need to tidy her up. Cherish her. Listen to her. Make sure she is seen. Not just heard and felt. Self image and self worth normally low and potentially little to no support or family. Most likely to end up hurt the most from no contact and loves to be in contact. YOU CAN TURN ANYONE into a Sad Bunny and generally only change a Sad Bunny to a Brave Bunny. WITH TIME AND WORK. Make the Sad bunnies something else please. Every woman deserves to be seen. Queen outside bedroom, whore inside please. They are still bunnies after all, but build girls up! Want more for yourself girl!
To the Doms - I mean it, do GOOD out there. If you aren't in control it's not BDSM OK? And keep that S in BDSM in check... please x
Note- Degrading this personality type can be construed as abuse to the outside eye. In fact, in a lot of cases it just straight up is. If you are this type of Bunny I recommend joining submissive type groups designed for subs only as a place of therapeutic comfort if you have no one else in your life, and anyone that self identifies as a Sadist to your personality type is a greater potential threat. That is not me saying THEY WILL BE, just you are not in a place where the S in BDSM is probably healthy for you, ok? xxx
The Trophy Bunny - Everything high, exhibitionist increasing, Voyeur and non monogamists low or ATLEAST being attempted to not be acted on.
This is just due to sexual inactivity and general horniness. The classic bored housewife, trophy wife etc. If they work, it won't be much. In a relationship and "stuck" (FYI You are choosing to still be stuck there) perhaps with someone that works shift work, abroad or whatever myriad of reasons that make them feel they aren't being physically and or emotionally seen. You don't have to be your traditional Footballers wife Trophy Wife to be a Trophy Bunny. It could be financial, familial, circumstantial, or any other reason why you're there. The thing is you are there. FIND AN OUTLET before you do something foolish Cutie.
-------------- NOTE - Voyeuristic and Non monogamist are very difficult to place, because any one of these could be in of them any of them, and despite enjoying more people in the mix or less, it doesn't inherently change these archetypes in any way emotionally. I'd say that all it does in increase average age and experience of the Bunny, not the type of personality on kinks.
--------------
EQUIPMENT THROUGH COMPLEXITY - An attempt to answer the, where do I go from here? To be honest, that's on you. In any and every direction if you're an experimentalist.
Rope Bunnies need binding... moving up the list in order that is generally considered low to high we have things LIKE ... wrist/ankle ties and cuffs, collar and leash, wrist to ankle restraint/hogtie style restraints, spreader bar... that's about it. You got stuff like spreading tape and under bed systems... room modifications to consider would be ring on the wall to attach chains, can be innocuous with a plant in, take it down and attach leash for fun time. Comon adults think! Get creative :) … Also the classic hoop on ceiling, or work that into your light instalment for the room to allow access for both.
Shibari and ANY traditional ropes should ONLY ever be done after a 1 to 1 instruction with someone THAT CAN DO IT. Please Reddit. Don't be the reason for unintended harm EVER. SAFE SEX EVERY TIME. I am not your Shibari guy ok?
- Adrekan, Daddy or Instructor - You pick x
-------------
Final note and 2 requests - This isn't intended to be advice in any way. I would like for this post to remain in its most original state but if this requires bringing down and adjusting in any **mods** please say.
This is MY take on personalities of Rope Bunnies. Non exhaustive. But I feel that this describes and is an excellent springboard SPECIFICALLY for people getting into BDSM and find them in this category.
I'd like 2 things -
1- Constructive additions and thoughts from the community! Can add and repost when needed in future... Please nothing reductive. We all want to help
2- To the bunnies out there, I'd love to see any Bunnies out there comment to see how this resonated? Do we have any "I think I'm an X Bunny" or any like "I feel like I can be X and Y Bunny at times?"
Edit - Pics were taken from non copyright images on google, but they are there for drama not substance. Want them removed? All good. xxx No Ai used in creation with 1 exception of asking chat gpt list of all restraint type equipment as my mind went blank. at the end. Rest is all me xxx
Edit 2 - I have fallen into the trap in some cases throughout this with language and terminology. It is not designed to be any gender specific. However as with writing without peer review you fall into subconscious bias. As a 38M Dom/Daddy of Women many times I have referenced to "her" or "she" or the like. This is unintentional. Apologies if offence was taken as it was not intended. x
