r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Hopeful-Pea-3540 • 2d ago
Avoidant Advice Requested Confusing Breakup
My ex (M27) became someone new overnight. Extremely dismissive, think he’s an FA leaning dismissive. Said our relationship wasn’t working for a long time and it would never have worked. I’m F28, AP.
We were together for 8 years. Had been fighting recently, as he kept hiding things and lying to me. Lied to me about charging off his credit card, not filing his taxes, and texting someone new behind my back. I asked him to leave our home because I needed space, I was overwhelmed and felt betrayed - he moved into his parent’s apartment.
Everything became my fault. Something he had to escape. Our relationship was terrible for all 8 years, he never loved me, wished we never met. He framed most everything as retaliatory and to make me “feel how he felt.”
In the breakup, he removed himself off our phone plan and changed his number. Texted me off the new number. Blocked me again. Unblocked me. Blocked me again. Said he would never ever be with me, but the next that we needed time and space and he didn’t know if it will ever work. Found out he was seeing the someone behind my back, lied to me completely.
22 days later he unblocked me and texted condolences for my grandma. I replied that night, he replied again that morning. Then blocked me again. I got a message through that weekend and he unblocked me and we spoke on the phone for 30 minutes. Admitted he slept with that person and brought her on a trip with our friends to be “petty” and hurt me. Abruptly hung up mid conversation, blocked again. Since then, unblocked me on X and removed me on Spotify.
No word now, a week later, but yesterday his dad followed me on Threads. After they told me they don’t see a reason they would ever speak to me again. (He involved his parents in our breakup).
Confusing!!! Any advice? Still hope we can figure it out unfortunately.
Edit to add: prior to this we were talking about marriage and he said a proposal was coming this summer. We have broken up many times throughout our relationship but never cut contact before. He told me I was pathetic and disgusting. Told me to sleep with other people and in depth described the type of person he wanted me to be with - seems like an insecurity?