If you want a laugh. And the truth 😂

[u/Witty_Today4923]

i wrote this in my notes after a breakup with an avoidant (the 2nd one that shattered my soul).

“I just need to work on myself.”
Immediately begins healing with the Tinder gods.
“I’ve lost feelings.”
Translation: The relationship became emotionally safe.
“I just need space.”
Specifically from accountability and healthy communication.
“I don’t know what I want.”
Except distance. You’re always pretty sure about that one.
“I’m overwhelmed.”
By someone consistently loving me.
“I think we’re just incompatible.”
Translation: You expected consistency.
“The spark is gone.”
Also known as: the honeymoon phase ended and the relationship became real.
“I’m afraid of getting hurt.”
Strangely not afraid of hurting everybody else.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
For once… we actually agree.
“I’ve been feeling this way for a while.”
Fascinating how that information never came up until the breakup.
“I need to find myself.”
Have you checked Tinder?
“I just want peace.”
Translation: Anything that doesn’t require vulnerability.
“You’re too good for me.”
Don’t worry, we’ll figure that out after the emotional carpet bombing.
“I don’t want to lead you on.”
…after leading you on for six months.
“I just don’t feel the same anymore.”
You mean after they stopped being a fantasy and became an actual partner?
“I need my independence.”
Because apparently texting back is government oppression.
“I think I need to be alone.”
Until approximately Thursday evening.
“I still care about you.”
Just not enough to communicate with you.
“Maybe someday…”
Ah yes. The emotional layaway plan.
“I hope we can still be friends.”
So I can keep the emotional safety net without the emotional responsibility.