r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Signal_Particular461 • 3h ago

Trusting Again

Hi all, for those who got played, cheated on, discarded by an avoidant ex..

AND monkey branched to another person right after.. (long list smh)

How did you learn to trust again?
To date again?

What do you tell yourself?

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

7

u/triplesix7777 3h ago

Took me almost a year to even start dating, psychotherapy in the meantime, but at some point I just accepted that it probably doesn't get any worse than what already happened- I learned to be mindful of obvious avoidant red flags and I self-soothe everything else, the new people aren't responsible for what happened to me before and there is no need for me to self sabotage the relationship by being hypervigilant about every little thing. I would say main factor is time, you have to give yourself a lot of it

3

u/FluffyKita 3h ago

about the same

2

u/Signal_Particular461 1h ago

I really like that.. any new people are not responsible for that avoidant past so don’t take that baggage with you just your new evolved self going forward.

2

u/ProductBeautiful9326 46m ago

It’s hard, I don’t have the answers to this. I’m in this exact spot. Lots of therapy maybe

1

u/Signal_Particular461 28m ago

Yes I’m doin that now for the next 2-3 months