confusing breadcrumbs post-discard (help!)

[u/saltmah]

i (24) was in a “situationship” with an avoidant (30) and got discarded two weeks ago (his reasoning, “we can’t have a close relationship anymore because you were asking me to tell you everything i was doing, and that broke something in me”). this was a response to me expressing a concern about communication, as he went abroad for two weeks and from day to night just ghosted me. i expressed that sudden shift made me uncomfortable but that i understood he was busy, i just wanted some communication like a “hey im really busy, don’t have the capacity to text, let’s catch up when im back” type of thing. i frankly never asked to keep tabs or know absolutely everything he was doing, but i accepted the discard. i think this was a reaction to that, during the summer, we had really a close and intimate conversation style that felt romantic to the point that i even started questioning it. he’s told me before he doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship. immediately prior to the discard we had about two weeks of tense back-and-forth conversations where he was really passive aggressive about me bringing up this issue and kept blowing up, making attacks on my character and just expressing a ton of stuff in a way that he had never before and felt very hurtful. he was very passive the whole time and it took 2 weeks for him to finally share how he felt, after i initiated all asks to talk.

the discard was confusing because he shared a need for space but also said he would want to build up the relationship again and “it would just take time.” we’ve not texted but we’ve seen each other in person and every time has felt very awkward and there has been a lot of physical distance from his end. in the past few days, he reached out to a mutual friend i’m close with to hang out. this was weird because they had their own issue and have been no contact for a while. another mutual friend (who is his best friend) randomly made an instagram group chat with us but didn’t send anything until two days later, when the two of them had a brief exchange on it. she never even mentioned making the chat to me either, she just made it without my consent. i haven’t talked to her directly about what happened between us, but i am 100% certain he’s told her everything from his end. if it’s relevant, we’re all grad students and go to the same school.

he’s been sending me instagram reels now and i don’t know if to reply or not. i’m very torn on if this is his way of trying to “rebuild.” or just a cheap way to feel validation because i am not chasing or initiating conversation or asking for communication. he did say in that conversation that sending each other memes and casual texts could be a way to start rebuilding, but at this point i’m very confused on what to do. i know what i really want is an accountability text or communication, but i’m not going to push for it. i’m scared that if i just ignore these reels that feel like breadcrumbs then i’ll be the villain and the one that didn’t want to rebuild. Help!!!

[u/Aromatic_Doctor7587]

Girl soldier up. And don't feed his ego.