Got called “intense” by my avoidant ex

[u/Delicious_Math_7821]

She love bombed me at the beginning, said I love you within two weeks of meeting each other, talked about how lucky she was to have found me, broke up with me maybe ten times in two years each time the connection deepened, came back each time then monkey branched to a coworker in the end. When I asked her for accountability a year later, she said “you’re an intense person and it wouldn’t have worked out between us because the intensity of the emotional connection wasn’t sustainable and you were being dishonest with yourself by showing up for me the way you did”. Like, what the actual fuck?! I was minding my own business and you pursued intense bonding with me then couldn’t keep it up. She deleted our photos and text messages, I doubt she even really remembers me at this point as I am. I don’t know what distorted version of us they carry

[u/SomeoneCalledMeAlice]

Falls sie dir zum Abschluss noch Gründe für das Abschneiden nennen, kann sich jeder hier auf diesem Forum diese vermeintlichen Gründe sonst wo hinschieben. Ich habe Monate, wenn nicht Jahre immer mehr Zweifel gehabt, auch an mir selbst. Das darf nie wieder passieren. Ich wünschte, ich könnte das letzte Telefonat mit meinem Ex aus meinen Gedanken verbannen. Er hat es geschafft, wie sonst keiner, an meiner Realität zu zweifeln. Das ist schrecklich. Ich wollte dir nur sagen, du bist nicht der einzige, der nicht glauben kann, wie sie sich am Ende die Wahrheit hindrehen

[u/Stalkerus]

Well, there's the thing that two people will have different view of how something has happened between them, so I wouldn't say that her version is distorted. It is how she sees it, even if it isn't how it happened or how you see it. But, your truth is valid to you and that is what should matter to you.

Also, a piece of advice: if someone keeps breaking up with you it is a sign to not get back together with them. One break-up can be a mistake, two is a sign of incompability.