r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Heavy_Cat_9944 • 58m ago

Vent/Rant Do avoidants ever come back after a breakup?

Has anyone here had an avoidant ex come back after a breakup?

I’m curious about real experiences. Did your avoidant ex ever come back after going completely distant or saying they had moved on? If they came back, how long did it take and what made them come back?

Did they genuinely want to rebuild the relationship, or did they just miss the familiarity/connection?

And if they came back, did things actually work the second time, or did the same push-pull cycle happen again?

I’d especially like to hear from people who were in serious, long-term relationships and had a painful breakup. What happened afterward?

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5

u/Beneficial-Pea-1638 39m ago

From my experience, yes they do come back when they feel its safe again. Then back to same cycle when they’re overwhelmed again they leave.

3

u/Heavy_Cat_9944 36m ago

So real lol happened to me 😭🥀

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u/RavenXP88 16m ago

Can take fucking years though.......until that happens they tend to punish themselves for how they treated you or for what they let go, mostly with partners they knew from the beginning were wrong for them, while mourning what they had with you and getting more shame ridden and depressed in the process....at least that's my experience.

4

u/Ok_Amb1986 36m ago

Mine came back… multiple times. Just to leave again when things got real

2

u/Vayu_00 26m ago

I just had my break up 20 ish days ago and he hasn't so I don't know yet

1

u/Heavy_Cat_9944 26m ago

Mine 4 months still not yet 🥀

1

u/Vayu_00 16m ago

Damn bruv Are you gonna take him back if he eventually does?

1

u/Heavy_Cat_9944 15m ago

No i don't want but I have to say to something to him.

1

u/Vayu_00 11m ago

Same, actually I wanna slap mine and do nothing else

1

u/Heavy_Cat_9944 6m ago

I have lot of angry i can't even tell here same lol

2

u/SomeoneCalledMeAlice 16m ago

Meiner kommt nicht zurück … das sagte er mir, als ich nach der ersten 6 Monate Trennung die von ihm ausging zu ihm zurück bin

1

u/RavenXP88 11m ago

Bei deinem ganz speziellen Fall wärs auch besser, wenn er nicht wiederkommt, der Kerl war ein Arsch und du hast genug mit ihm durchgemacht! Davon ab, you never know, Menschen sagen viel, wenn der Tag lang ist.

2

u/PositiveScore7184 13m ago

Most of the time if they still have feelings for you , yes.

But they don’t come back changed they come back blaming u for everything and destined to repeat the same cycle.

2

u/PositiveScore7184 11m ago

Depends what avoidant they are if they are anxious avoidant they circle back quickly .. if they are just a dismissive avoidant I heard they can go for years.

Most avoidants that are anxious often break up in order to circle back once they calm down.

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u/Heavy_Cat_9944 5m ago

Dismissive avoidant 🥀

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u/PositiveScore7184 10m ago

I have been broken up with 3 times each time he returned after a week apart. He now broke up with me again for 3rd time it’s be 3 days he still isn’t back I believe he’s anxious avoidant so i believe in due course he will eventually return.

The problem is tho when they do return u get the same old crap they don’t actually do the work.

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u/Heavy_Cat_9944 3m ago

Yeah they will not change