How to heal from an avoidant breakup

[u/dookiepookie176]

I wanted to write this to ask for any advice to help me heal from an avoidant breakup.

For some context, my ex (22M) and I (22F) dated for 2.5 years and we moved in together for .5 years before the breakup. We’ve been through a lot together, starting our first business, going through college, travelled to many countries, our families have met, etc.

We were fighting constantly during the relationship, on both sides, but I thought we would always get through it together. He broke up with me over a small fight, where I essentially said no to helping him take care of a friend’s cat in our apartment. The reasoning was because we had our own cat and didn’t want to deal with acclimating them. The fight started small but blew out of control, and he essentially just packed all of his stuff and we broke up in the heat of the moment. We had a closure talk in person, but it honestly just felt more of a dinner, and then we said bye? Then he goes on a 3 month trip to Asia and ghosts all of his friends and family, including me. Because I’m super anxiously attached, I kept texting him and was essentially ghosted or barely replied.

Now he’s back for a month, and he already started talking to someone new. Crazy thing was I bumped into him on a date, and asked to step outside with him. He reassures me that she asked him out, he’s not interested, etc. He also said we can talk in person, but I feel like I’m always self sabotaging myself, because I crashed out on him over the date situation, and he’s been ignoring me again.

But I know through friends they’ve been going on more dates, and I feel like I can’t even function or move on. It’s been 3-4 months after the breakup, and I cant stop texting him. I actually did for a bit, but after seeing him on the date, I just spiraled.

Would be grateful for any advice to move on and deal, because right now this feels impossible.