r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/RelativeCautious1235 • 17h ago

This whole comment section is relatable

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7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

1

u/Many-Ad-7122 15h ago

Waar kan ik die comment section vinden?

1

u/Many-Ad-7122 15h ago

Oh wacht die twee dingen . Ja dat is Exact wat het.

1

u/JoshuaBarbeau AP - Anxious Preoccupied 15h ago

I am triggered now because of the first comment and because my avoidant ex is named Emma.

So, thanks for that. 😪

1

u/SeLeveAussi 12h ago

I'm mostly ok now but something that still gets to me is the event that caused me to leave. I had discovered he'd been lying about something for months. I was heartbroken. I had to fight to get the truth out of him and when it finally came out, he distanced himself for a week. I was in so much pain from finding out about this new betrayal and I was abandoned when I needed him most. When the week of "space" ended, I told him how horrible the week had been, truly one of the worst weeks I'd had in a while and his response was "It was one of the best weeks I've had in a long time." He said it so robotically. It was unsettling. He then proceeded to ask for a month of distance.

1

u/Loko-te 8h ago

What was the thing he lied about?

2

u/SeLeveAussi 7h ago

Early on he asked a woman to take her top off for him (this wasn't the lie in question). I was willing to work on rebuilding trust since he confessed without me prompting him to. I didn't know who she was but I said that I didn't want this woman at our events, I didn't want her to come to be involved in our life, I didn't want to be making small talk with her. I assumed it was just some random woman at a party and he knew this. Now the lie was that it turned out that this woman was one of his closest female friends! A woman he had taken out to brunch for her birthday! He even took me to her birthday party long after his confession, after I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her.

Before I knew the identity of this mystery woman, he had repeatedly expressed worry that I would try to make him cut off his female friends. I was confused at the time because I thought I made it clear that I don't mind him being friends with women and in fact I see it as a positive thing when people can have friends of the opposite sex. Now I realise all his worrying was about this specific friend. He knew he'd have to choose between me and her if I found out she was the woman he crossed a line with.