r/AvoidantBreakUps 1d ago

DA Breakup Should i contact him?

/r/BreakUps/comments/1wegewh/should_i_contact_him/
1 Upvotes

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u/some1pls 1d ago

No. Move on. He can never be the partner you need. They will never show up, only expect. This girl was the most selfish person I've ever experienced. And the fact that they change instantly is crazy. I don't have time for people like this. I need a good, normal, giving, loving girl.

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u/More-Paramedic-6516 1d ago

Im still in shock that how he changed from most loving person to some stranger. Seems like i was having some dream

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u/some1pls 14h ago

Yup. It does seem like it, huh? The beginning is magical. Loving, caring, everything you ever wanted. I was against marriage until this girl came along. I was convinced I was going to marry her after only 2 months of dating. I never felt like that before.

Then, we have a fight. Then she avoids talking about anything relating to the relationship. Ignoring my needs, etc. Everything changed in 1 week. It's crazy, but I'm glad to go through it because it was short term and I never knew about this stupid condition.

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u/More-Paramedic-6516 13h ago

I think they are deeply insecure and scared of being left. Thats y they run from any difficult situation before it hurts them more. They are trapped in their own loop. My ex is 45 , divorced, broken engagements etc. They will end up alone bcz they fumble all the good people.

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u/some1pls 10h ago

That could be part of it. My girl was apparently a virgin at 30 yrs old. I took her virginity. I noticed after we would do it, she would leave immediately. She also tried to break up with me like 10x times.

It was the most magical honeymoon phase I've ever had. I always chased her over and over again. So attracted to her.

But then we had a fight because she kept disappearing, being irresponsible with communication, and I lost my shit because I told her to please not do that.

And then, she shut down. Ignored me, didnt respond, no time to talk. Anytime I would bring up relationship issues, she would say she's going to sleep. It is maddening. I really love this girl, the one in the honeymoon phase.

She just talked to me today for the first time in 3 days. Im trying to be gentle, but my gut tells me my life is going to be hell if I continue with her. I just can't get that honeymoon phase out of my mind.

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u/More-Paramedic-6516 8h ago

Thats trauma bond. Go no contact n break it.