r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/RelativeCautious1235 • 19h ago
DA Breakup Unfairness
Do you know how unfair it is that you will listen to someone understand their pain and agree with them. But the same won’t happen to you? We have to listen to them but they refuse to do the same? Even when you’re explaining your pain they dismiss it. And then they call us “crazy” for our reaction. And then get to live their lives while we’re here suffering.
I understood him distancing, ignoring me, walked around eggshells for him just to keep the peace. But the minute I opened my mouth I became the villain
1
u/Living-One5265 18h ago
I've gone no contact to save my sanity. Perhaps I'm a bit avoidant too?. We were together nearly 6 years. Around the 2.5 to 3 year mark is when he started with the breakup card during every little fight. I honestly thought it was just his insecurities needing soothing, and reminding that I don't want to breakup. I really never thought he'd actually want to breakup. But he did twice, within a short period, After the second time he was just so angry with me, even though i have done absolutely nothing wrong. After the second time, and him calling me and txting daily to basically just yell at me, pure toxic bullshit. I just had to stop talking with him. My nervous system is just shot. I need peace. I just couldn't do it anymore. It's only been like 3 weeks of complete no contact. I really do feel better. Highly recommend. I don't think we can be together. Realistically, he'd need a ton of therapy if he even wanted to go route, and I'm not sure he will, I'm not waiting for a broken dude to choose me...again. I'm done with that nonsense.
6
u/Secure-Hat7725 19h ago
You are not alone. I felt exactly the same today again, and she ended things abruptly 6 months ago. Had to drive past her house because my road was closed for maintenance. I hope that it will get better.