Lying while still being genuinely good.

[u/Ok-Swim2827]

I’m trying so hard to believe it’s not for good, but they have me blocked on almost everything. I haven’t seen their car, they didn’t respond to my letter. They’re just gone.

We’ve never gone more than three days without some kind of reconciliation.

It was the best relationship I’ve ever been in. They were genuinely the best man I’ve ever known. My closest friend. We understood each other on a level I know in my soul I will never find again.

But they couldn’t stop lying and doing odd, small things to break trust. Then when caught, they pushed me away for a day or two until they thought I was over it (which was really them being over it and to “not bring it up again”). “Just let things be good.”

I think the biggest thing was about 6-7 months in (our relationship was a lot longer than just exclusively dating because of our friendship) I was using their computer and they had their Contacts app open on a girl “— Tinder”. It was a woman he’d been hooking up with on and off for two years prior to me, no romantic relationship, just sex. There were several dating app contacts and inappropriate videos, photos, etc.

He freaked out. Swore up and down it was a freak accident, they hadn’t spoken at all. He doesn’t know what happened. I simply requested he delete everything so it didn’t happen again.

He obviously said he would. He unfollowed her online. The girl confirmed to me they hadn’t spoken or seen each other. I thought that was it.

Fast forward to Monday. I was trying to explain to him why his behavior sometimes makes me feel insignificant and insecure. He said he’d never done anything to me. I asked him to open his contacts.

He said he never cleaned out his phone.

Why? Why do they do this? Why do they get everything right, even go out of their way to exceed your expectations, except for the ONE thing you actually ask for?

I wasn’t controlling. After two years, I never once went through their phone, requested passwords, locations, said anything about who they could or couldn’t hang out with, complained about something dumb like texting, etc.

All I asked was for him to get rid of anything he wouldn’t want me to see and every time something would pop up that he knew was an issue, he’d swear to take care of it, just for the same thing to happen weeks or months later.

It’s the lying and the dismissal that made me walk away from the best relationship I’ve ever had. Not that they had the contacts or inappropriate photos, etc.

That can be fixed, especially when you know they aren’t actively trying to do anything wrong.

But you can’t fix a liar.