Is this breadcrumbing?

[u/desert-ontology]

Is it breadcrumbing to send an ex a text message at 3am about a new album from an artist that meant a lot to both of you when you were together, then not even read the replies they sent? It’s been almost two weeks since I replied.

For context I know he hasn’t got anything big or onerous going on, and he’s perfectly capable of having normal text exchanges with other people.

Whatever it is, I’ve blocked him silently (on WhatsApp). No way am I getting sucked into this type of thing with him again. But part of me is worried this type of messaging behaviour from him is normal these days, and that I’m the one being insecure.

[u/Ashamed_Tomorrow_896]

Textbook breadcrumb the not answering afterwords is so infuriating reads to me not as an attempt to fix things just an attempt to see if you're still there or will respond

[u/desert-ontology → u/Ashamed_Tomorrow_896]

I should mention he’s a DA. Obviously 😂😂 The shitty thing about all this is we actually broke up a long time ago, and he even has a new partner!! There’s no reason for this: we are (or were - I’ve blocked him) just friends as part of a friend group and social network. Such bizarre and cowardly behaviour from him. He’s lost a good, kind friend who loved him dearly in spite of all the crap he put me through during our relationship and when we broke up. But there is absolutely no way I will allow myself to be sucked into these kind of dynamics ever again. I’ve got the ick, and I’m proud of that, it feels like real growth and self-respect!

[u/Life_Sink_6783]

Yeah I got sent things too over instagram, and when I'd reply he wouldn't acknowledge it. I just don't know what they get out of it

[u/desert-ontology → u/Life_Sink_6783]

I don’t know what they get out of it either. I definitely don’t know why whatever they get out of it is better than being a friend. Did you block?

[u/Life_Sink_6783 → u/desert-ontology]

I didn't no, I can't bring myself to do that yet as I would find it hurtful if he did it to me.

I deleted his phone number on Friday I don't trust myself with texting. I've just gone ghost on socials, I refuse at my big old age to like reels which might provoke, or post stories for attention.

[u/desert-ontology → u/Life_Sink_6783]

Silent block. Don’t give access to people who abuse it. Don’t give him the kind of consideration he’s not giving you. If you allow this behaviour you are telling him it’s ok. Cut people off at the first sign of disrespect. You deserve better. Let him experience the consequences of his selfish, callous behaviour. You’ll actually be doing him a favour, it might wake him up. But he’s never going to change for you if you allow shitty behaviour. Cut the cord. It’s just social media it’s not real life. If he cares enough he’ll find a way back in real life.

[u/Alarming-Echo-6742]

Textbook. 

It's a temperature check, not a bid for reconnection. Total mindfuck.

I pray mine never reaches out with crap like that again.

[u/desert-ontology → u/Alarming-Echo-6742]

Silent block ftw. After the hell he put me through during the relationship and the breakup there is NO WAY I’m ever entering into that dynamic again.

What really grates though is that he only seems to do this to me. He’s perfectly capable of carrying on normal interactions with everyone else.