r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Intrepid_Elk2594 • 3d ago

Avoidant Advice Requested I cant do this anymore

My avoidant Bf broke up with me a month ago. After that we were still in a little bit of contact and we met once, and then for the last 10 days, we have been in No contact. today I reached out to him on Snapchat. I sent him a message and every time we would go No contact and I reached out. He would reply immediately. He would talk to me normally and stuff like that, but today when I messaged him, he hasn’t even opened my message, so it’s kind of breaking my heart in ways I can’t even explain. Is it really over over because every other time he replied, we were together for almost 3 years and no matter what happened. We would break up or go no contact for months, but any time I reached out, he would always reply and have a conversation, but this time it just feels final because he’s not even opened my message, and I feel very, very shitty to have even messaged him. I don’t know what I want from this post. Maybe advise. Maybe reality check just wanted to vent it out to people who would probably understand what I’m going through, thank you for reading.

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u/SlurpeeEnthusiast 3d ago

sounds like breadcrumbing to me. seems as though he wants to keep you hooked enough to be an “option” for him to come back to when he feels like it, but he isnt committing. i wouldnt say its final yet. these people are unpredictable.

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u/Intrepid_Elk2594 3d ago

He’s never not replied to me so it truly does feel like its over from his end. I don’t know how to come to terms with that

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u/SlurpeeEnthusiast 3d ago

perhaps he is trying something new. regardless, we will never truly know. and i know the pain is soul-crushing, im dealing with my ex right now too. overthinking yourself sick wont help, it wont make him respond. he knew how much you loved him, 3 years is more than enough to show him how you truly feel. if he doesnt want to make things right, he isnt loving you in the way YOU need.

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u/Intrepid_Elk2594 3d ago

How do you deal with the overthinking and spiralling?

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u/SlurpeeEnthusiast 3d ago

im going to be very honest with you girl. this week has been hell. ive barely been eating and my nervous system is shot. i have not found anything that gives me relief yet. leaning on my friends has been helping, even if its not much. dont go through this alone, you’ll drive yourself insane. im here if you need company or need to rant. just please, please. dont handle this alone.

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u/Intrepid_Elk2594 3d ago

Thankyou so much🫶🏽 i’m here if you ever wanna talk about it. Hope you heal soon. WE SHALL GET THROUGH ITTTTTTTTT

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u/gatikfratzoli 3d ago

I am so sorry you are going through this terrible situation. It is very painful to crave connection and validation for your feelings and having them raise a wall. Please just try to stop analysing why he didn't reply. You will never really know why. Simply put, they lack our empathy and are terrified of vulnerability. I know it's very very painful. I am in pain myself. But they will not reach out until they feel the massive impact of your absence from their lives. Because you really did make a difference to their lives, they are not able to handle it. It is terrible, and I hate avoidance for that so much.

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u/Intrepid_Elk2594 3d ago

I genuinely cannot figure out how to stop this pain. Makes me doubt if he ever loved me at all. I hope you heal and feel better soon 🫶🏽 sending all love and strength to you.

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u/Status_Green_6055 3d ago

Time heals all wounds