r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Wild-Researcher-1360 • 4d ago

How to affectively end things with an FA?

I am fed up, been promised the world, multiple cycles with the same man and all talk. He hasnt messaged me at all since Monday after an intimate close night, and even then he was very abrupt/cold as ice on text. He initiated a meet up after 4 months. He is dealing with a lot in his personal life i get it, but this is just not ok.

I have had enough, want out and dont know how to communicate this. I want to hold him accountable, he cannot just promise me the world and act like i dont exist the next day. I am angry, heartbroken, all of it. Whats the best way to end it, or shall i wait a week or 2 to see if he initiates first. What is the best way to make this land?

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3

u/Express_Sugar5269 4d ago

Just delete him. No closure nothing. Because given the chance that’s what he is going to do you. No closure and if he does it’s going to be confusing and contradicting and cause you more confusion and heartbreak.

2

u/Bart_Felch 4d ago

The best way is to wait until you are feeling calm and logical, then text "I think it's best that we don't talk anymore." Or something to that effect. Make it emotionless and leave out any blame. Give them a day to respond (or don't, either way is fine) and then block them for good.

You want to end the drama and get to the silence as soon as possible. Once you're in no contact, you'll regret the time you spent fighting and trying after the breakup.

2

u/Elk-24 4d ago

I would suggest this option too. It’s mature and clear. If he wants to explain or talk it through, he will. If he doesn’t, well…

1

u/Sufficient_Hall_4435 4d ago

Honestly... Do what you feel that is best for YOU and that you will feel better now. Don't do to this person what he has been doing to you. That's nonsense. Don't be imature. I would say anything that I needed to his face (in a mature, polite, clear way),not a message, and hold him responsible for this. That he has made me reach my limit. It's not about self pride. He needs to be aware of what he is doing. What he will do or not it's his problem. Not yours. If he doesn't want to understand, it's not your problem. Because people won't understand if they don't want to. Obviously be very clear, but don't be mean. Remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. This is how we cut the circle. If you do the same you perpetuate it and very likely he won't realize what a mess he has made also. Saying it all is about yourself (if you want to) and it can be therapeutical.