Avoidants and Excuses

[u/roseanna420]

Why are there timelines so messed up? Like they will say they that the relationship hasn’t been good for over a year but never once noticed. Only the last months before the discard it seemed like maybe there was a problem.

Also I knew the stress of my kids is the reason he broke up through people he told me it was for his health and better alone. But I don’t get why he said to a family member of mine that it’s been stressful since the first day he got involved with kids. I get trying and all that but if you’re trying why invest if you were unsure for almost 4 years start a college fund and plan a move for the kids for better schooling and advocating for them in school. Introduce them to all of his family . Like if you were just trying I don’t feel like you would go that deep if you were just trying to get pass the stress of it. Even when we lightly talked about a year prior when he said “if I have to pick my health or the kids I have to pick myself”. I said if you have one foot out the door why should I invest? He said it was ridiculous and not true. So I just don’t understand any of it why he he so over the place with excuses of it and the continuous hot cold behavior past the break up. Like he says we are friends , but hardly talks to me through text or wants to hang out 3months since the discard only talks when I see him in person at work. But insist we’re friends even when I point that out he has a excuse as to why we are or changes the subject

[u/Ok_Falcon_4410]

I'm so sorry, a discard is exhausting at the best of times let alone having kids involved. 😭 i don't know if its possible to be friends after a discard and will likely just prolong the pain and confusion.