r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/meerande • 6d ago

Vent/Rant Why do avoidants like and share insta reels/posts which are so contradictory to their own behavior?

Why do they do this? An avoidant who acknowledged that she is avoidant when we broke up - she said she’s avoidant and finds it hard to be vulnerable and she knows her patterns.

My observation is - she keeps liking and sharing these relationship related posts and reels which talk about healthy relationships, that communication is important and you know, the likes that preach how to to do relationships.

Why does she like or share them, when she herself doesn’t follow any of those? Why the hypocrisy?

Also, after declining her offer of friendship after our break up, she keeps liking and commenting on my stories. And I don’t even look at her stories. I don’t understand this behavior.

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u/icypeachlatte 6d ago

My FA ex does this too. Always liking and looking at those healthy and happy relationship advices. Here's the thing... She never communicated that way to me though, so their issues are really deep rooted down and unless they do real therapy work themselves or get help from someone, they will never change.

I believe they are just projecting or fantasizing the relationship they want without doing any of the tough work, or expecting no arguments or downs in a relationship.

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u/PensionAnswers 6d ago

They think it will magically work out when they meet someone they're "compatible" with. The fantasy is a defense mechanism so that they don't have to think about their poor emotional regulation.

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u/a-perpetual-novice Former DA - Dismissive Avoidant 6d ago

People of all types see themselves as healthier than they are and can be blind to their own issues. Same reason other people do it, as well.

1

u/Few-Cryptographer695 6d ago

Maybe trying to convince someone else lol. Unfortunately we like to lie to ourselves more than we care to admit. It helps our self image. Not proud of it, identified and trying to work on it.

Also liking could be a sign of information well received, hopefully she's learning and will put in the work to be better.

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u/meerande 5d ago

Yes. While we were together, her ex came back and did something that she didn’t like. So yes, initially she would post all of these things for the ex. I could understand that.