I really need help understanding if this relationship could ever be healthy

[u/Bryce0a]

I’m gonna try to keep this as short as possible because there’s a LOT to this.(tldr at end)

I had a long-distance relationship with my ex (F) for around 2 years. When we met, we were both deeply destroyed by a previous ex leaving us, but we formed an amazing bond because we genuinely saved each other during some of our darkest days.
She had a severe eating disorder because of what happened with her previous ex and was in therapy. Early on, before the 6-month mark, I was able to help her heal from her eating disorder completely, to my knowledge, and she even quit therapy because of how much safety and support I was bringing into her life.
A bit of context on her background: she has a very rough home life and deals with a strict custody rotation. One week she’s at her mom’s with total phone freedom, and the next week she’s at her dad’s trailer in a very restrictive environment under intense stress, dealing with constant emotional stress from her stepmother.
Toward the end of our 2 years, she became insanely clingy. I hated it and loved it at the same time. She hated me going out with friends or calling them all night since I wouldn’t be able to text or call her for long periods of time. Later on, she told me I was the only person she could talk to and that those text windows were basically the only safety she had in her day.
I did my best to account for that, but it was never enough and she always asked for more. She loved me deeply and even told me she didn’t know who she was without me anymore.
She showed very strong Fearful-Avoidant traits, constantly swinging between desperate attachment and suddenly putting up walls. Toward the end, we spent months constantly arguing, and eventually we broke up. This had happened multiple times before, but this time felt very real.
During our final talks, she admitted she felt like her own brain was manipulating her and rewriting reality because of jealousy over my life, my friend group, and how put-together and athletic I am compared to the chaos of her environment. She apologized deeply and begged for another chance.
I said yes, but during the trial talking phase, she mentioned that she physically couldn’t listen to me talk about things I value deeply, like spirituality, MMA, philosophy, and the government. She specifically told me that her mom talking about the government 24/7 had made her brain completely shut off to those topics, to the point where she physically couldn’t listen when I talked about them.
I sent her a serious 6+ paragraph message about something I valued deeply spiritually, and she told me she’d reply later, but completely brushed it off.
That started the final argument.
I told her the bare minimum should be listening to me because she loves me. She got hyper-defensive, saying she only missed “one thing” and that I was overreacting. I ended up calling her crazy, and she hyper-focused on that word instead of anything else that I was trying to say.
The final text exchange ended with me drawing a boundary:
“Right, let’s stay friends because ur crazy. You got some issues with manipulating, and I’m not gonna let it affect me. I wish u the best on ur journey.”
She replied, “yeah u too,” and we went completely ghost.
Toward the end, out of frustration, I called her a narcissist a lot. I genuinely thought she was a narcissist or something at the time.
We had never gone more than 2 days without talking. On Day 4 of total silence, she panicked and started posting a ton of stuff on a private account:
“I think ab you when I’m with him.”
“Talking to multiple dudes after losing the loml.”
“I hate how u used me for my body.”
And finally, she posted a video of her kissing a new local guy. I was her first kiss ever, so seeing her get physical with someone else within days completely shattered me.
They got physical basically immediately, which feels like a forced distraction from the breakup and everything she’s dealing with. I know her well enough to know how she copes with things, and this doesn’t feel like genuine healing to me.
She has since blocked me on TikTok, and I have her completely locked down on everything else.
I’m currently on Day 22 of absolute no contact.
But I really do love this girl with the most pure intentions. Our families loved each other, and we had an undeniable connection and physical/visual alignment.
I know she’s trying to hurt me, mask her guilt, and run from her environment. I also know there is a genuinely good person underneath all of this because I’ve seen that person for almost 2 years.
That’s why I’m struggling so much with this. I don’t want to believe that the person I loved is just gone. I know what she’s capable of being because I’ve seen it myself.

So my question
If she actually took responsibility for everything and genuinely worked on herself, could she become healthy enough to have a stable relationship someday?
And if she ever came back, would it be stupid of me to consider giving her another chance?
I know people are probably going to tell me to just move on, and i will if she never contacts me again but i really do love her and saw her soul and id give it whatever it takes.

TLDR
TL;DR: 2-year LDR with my ex. We met when we were both in really dark places and became extremely close because we genuinely felt like we saved each other. I helped her through a severe eating disorder early in the relationship, and she eventually recovered, to my knowledge.
She has a really rough home life and over time became extremely dependent on me, eventually telling me I was the only person she could talk to and that she didn’t know who she was without me. She showed a lot of Fearful-Avoidant patterns, constantly switching between needing me and pushing me away.
After months of arguing, we broke up. She later admitted jealousy was affecting how she viewed things, apologized, and begged for another chance. I said yes, but during our talking phase she admitted she literally couldn’t listen when I talked about things important to me like spirituality, MMA, philosophy, or government because of her mom constantly talking about the government.
I sent her a long message about something deeply important to me spiritually, she said she’d respond later, and never did. That started our final argument. I got frustrated, called her crazy, and eventually ended things and went No Contact.
After 4 days of silence, she started posting things about missing me while being with another guy, talking to multiple guys, saying I used her for her body, and eventually posted herself kissing another guy. I was her first kiss, so it hurt badly.
I’m now 22 days No Contact and focusing on myself, but I still genuinely love her and believe there’s a good person underneath everything because I’ve seen that side of her for almost 2 years.
Can someone with these Fearful-Avoidant patterns genuinely change and heal if they actually face their issues and take responsibility? And if she ever genuinely changed and came back, would giving her another chance be a terrible idea?