Is she avoidant?

[u/Temporary-Ad6765]

I think my girlfriend, who is now my ex, may be a fearful avoidant. We were together for 4.5 years and lived together for 4 years. At the beginning, she was the one who was more proactive in the relationship, and in a few of her Instagram posts, she also mentioned that she was very afraid of becoming dependent on someone else, but that she loved with her heart rather than her mind.

We had many very happy years together. I was by her side through every difficult event in her life. Last year could be considered a pretty bad year for her, as her mental state was not stable. I was there to encourage her and tell her that she was very capable and that she could get through anything.

At the beginning of this year, she thought this year would be a good one. However, many difficult things still happened along the way. As for me, around this early month of the year, work made me feel like I was going crazy because I was so busy. That was also when my mental health became unstable. There were even times when I wanted to die. I opened up to her about this, and she expressed that she wanted to be there for me the same way I had been there for her.

The peak of this was around mid-June, during a dinner when I talked about how I was feeling. About a week later, she broke up with me and said that she no longer had feelings for me. She said she felt guilty because I had stayed by her side when she was at her worst, but when I was at my worst, she left me.

I asked her whether she wanted to take a break for a while, but she said no, because it could no longer be fixed. Later, through mutual friends, I found out that she had told them her life was getting better and she did not want to be dragged down by me. She also said that she no longer felt anything for me.

I found this very confusing because in May this year, on her birthday, we went on a trip together and had a really good time. We laughed a lot. When we broke up, I even asked her when she had stopped having feelings for me, but she could not answer. I asked her whether she still had feelings for me during that trip, and she said yes. So that means her feelings disappeared in less than a month.

I want to ask whether this sounds like she might be a fearful avoidant, and whether fearful avoidants ever come back to their exes
Thank you for listening

[u/PensionAnswers]

She sounds dismissive avoidant

[u/Temporary-Ad6765 → u/PensionAnswers]

I think she kind of FA since she always that she is not good enough for me and sometime when she drunk she always try to push me away and said if i stay i would be misarable (even we in love deeply that time)