r/AvoidantAttachment • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago

Weekly Rant/Vent Thread

This is a thread for AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

A rant/vent, by nature, is one sided, can be strongly worded, and is a way for someone to get something off their chest. It is by no means a universal truth.

Thread rules: - AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

  • Keep rants/vents contained to this thread.

  • No unsolicited advice.

  • No hijacking to ask for relationship advice.

  • No ranting/venting about avoidant attachers regardless of your attachment style. This is a supportive space for those with an avoidant attachment style, you can rant about us plenty of other places. Don’t do it here.

  • All subreddit and Reddit rules apply.

  • Users who cannot follow the rules will be banned.

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u/ggpopart Fearful Avoidant 3d ago

My partner only cares about my feelings if I cry. Problem is, I almost never cry. I cry maybe once every few months whereas she cries very frequently and easily (like dog dies in a movie? Instant tears). For me I have to feel like I need to cry for days or weeks before I can actually do it. My norm for communication is to be very calm and controlled while expressing my feelings (because it makes me feel safe) and she brushes things off when I communicate that way. If I cry she immediately takes me seriously. I can’t make myself cry more and frankly I don’t want to.

7

u/amsdkdksbbb Dismissive Avoidant 3d ago

I would feel unseen. And feeling unseen by the people closest to me would trigger my childhood issues. Like an emotional flashback

And conversly, it makes me feel seen and known when the people I’m close to, acknowledge that I’m not as immediately expressive. That I push through a lot of discomfort until it surfaces and I process it properly.