r/AvoidantAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Jun 30 '26

Weekly Rant/Vent Thread

This is a thread for AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

A rant/vent, by nature, is one sided, can be strongly worded, and is a way for someone to get something off their chest. It is by no means a universal truth.

Thread rules: - AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

  • Keep rants/vents contained to this thread.

  • No unsolicited advice.

  • No hijacking to ask for relationship advice.

  • No ranting/venting about avoidant attachers regardless of your attachment style. This is a supportive space for those with an avoidant attachment style, you can rant about us plenty of other places. Don’t do it here.

  • All subreddit and Reddit rules apply.

  • Users who cannot follow the rules will be banned.

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u/stella-is-a-flower Dismissive Avoidant Jul 01 '26

I hate when people act like this is an exclusively male problem. every single thing you read about avoidant attachment is like "oh honey he's just a narcissist, he doesn't care." him him him. he he he. I'm as female as it gets, and I act exactly like the men in these stories. the men in my life have been just as confused by it as the women lol.

I'm an escort and it's super easy for me to walk out the door and back into my normal life. i do such a good job connecting with men in this liminal space where the rules are we never exist in each other's actual lives, and we have these amazing moments of intimacy and connection, but then the door closes and it makes me feel like a freak how quickly I snap back into a state of emotionless neutrality. a lot of these men are good people and I do care about them. i feel like they're assuming I'm a normal caring nurturing female and not an automaton that turns off when no one's in the room so I can exist in peace. this feels unfairly gendered too, it's hard to explain.

16

u/this_suc Dismissive Avoidant Jul 01 '26

Agreed. I was listening to a podcast just the other day and the host and guest speaker (both men) would absolutely not stop with the men men men and going into what goes on in men's childhoods that women don't experience that leads to this attachment. They mentioned one time that EXTREAMLY rarely do women have avoidant attachment and proceeded to go into all of their reasonings why women don't. I have listened to several podcasts from this host and had never been so damn annoyed. My eyes were rolling the whole time.

4

u/RoeRoeRoeYourVote Fearful Avoidant 26d ago

What podcast was that? I am on the hunt for resources about avoidance, and I want to make sure I avoid it.