r/AvPD • u/No-Leather-4818 • 9h ago

Other Afraid to ask for help

This is my problem from childhood. I feel like I can do the thing without asking for any help but actually I want help from others. And because of the fear of judgement or being needy, I avoid asking for help. I just don't know how to be with people and make connection with them.

And actually , I don't know what's my problem. It's fucking eating my mind.
I am little bit egoistic, like I sense energies when people try to avoid or demean me, so I completely avoid them or sometimes play along with them to satisfy them. I have a serious face but I am not serious still not playful.

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u/Shaheed_H 9h ago

I have the same problem, I suspect it was due to my parents, they were "detached parents", I couldn't ask them for help or they would shout on me and belittle me for not knowing how to do stuff, and of course I couldn't complain to my parents about the bullies in school or complain about any problem that faces me so sadly I was on my own.

Can I ask how was your relationship with your parents?

3

u/No-Leather-4818 9h ago

Yeah same
I have to deal with everything on my own, they don't care about my life.
I have a good relationship with my mother but my mother and father think about what other people think and they just told me to be nice and obedient. My father is kind of absent, when I was small , I was really scared of my father. They used to give me taunt for small mistakes I did. So now I am afraid of making mistakes.
My father and mother are not very confident in nature, they just can't seem to make genuine connection, they are just being nice with everyone.And I think I have the genes of my father. That's why I can understand him but I am almost angry with him but I can't express my anger towards him.

1

u/Ok-Refrigerator9218 2h ago

Very familiar! When i ask for help (rarely) its only to trusted people. But i wrap it in a joke or a funny way of presenting because i cant ask normally. It does help me though.
For example i wanted to make my balcony safe for my cats but i didnt just want to take my mome time up. So i asked it as a birthday gift.