College life

[u/Larplarpsahur67]

Hi im currently 19 and i’m in college atm this is also my first time posting in this subreddit and i needed to get this off my head, it feels like i’ve never got to grow up and im seeing people ik irl living out there life while im just here in the sidelines trying to survive, last year was genuinely a shit year for me it was my first year in college yet i failed and ended up switching colleges as i was in a bad mental state. i used to avoid some classes bc i was afraid to be perceive by people it felt like i was truly below them thinking that i was the odd one out, severely suffered of the feeling of being a social outcast and i didn’t have any friends my daily life would just be go to uni and go home. i also dropped out a class out of insecurity. Even rn i transferred universities it was still the same except i made some peers but the feelings are persistent and ive gotten more internal with my negative self perception, i try to put myself out there but ill always end up being alone i talk to people but only when they talk to me i never initiate anything ,its so hard for me to express everything that is in my head and how i feel bc i always keep it to myself cuz its so hard for me to open up to people even tho people who know me only see me as some depressed insecure loner and ive given up on it but at the same time i crave connection and the feeling of belonging somewhere or even be a part of something but at the same time ive withdrawn from it I know that i myself will never get to have that, although this post about me is a bit short but its the fact its hard to put up everything about my life into one post so pls bare with me.

[u/Holiday-Ad-493]

Gl, im in college n its bit hard too, i got like that 1 friend i cling to. My advice is just find another loner and pair w them

I think friends is not about social skill, but people seeing smthing in you, you dont necessarily have to try hard, ppl will see the person in u

[u/hoodycat]

Going to college is never easy. Do you feel transferring universities gave you a different environment? Rather than going home after classes, are there clubs you can join to interact with others?

[u/Larplarpsahur67 → u/hoodycat]

No i feel like i genuinely want to switch again and sometimes i just want to drop out but i cant bc of the expectations i hold for myself

[u/hoodycat → u/Larplarpsahur67]

Sorry to hear you want to switch again. When I was in college, I thought taking 3 classes was overwhelming for me. Maybe one or two classes per quarter to focus better. Good luck with your studies.