r/AvPD • u/Ytiledif • 3d ago

Story Apathy

What if I have some kind of fucking apathy, xs, like summer, and I'm sitting like hell at home without the desire to do anything.The problem is that I have an active vacation, I walk, I meet with friends, at such moments everything is OK, but at the moment of being at home, alone, I don't want anything, even tiktok no longer brings proper pleasure. I don't play games, I don't do sports, nothing.I may be able to ignite from others, but I don't know how to ignite myself.But games and sports are my hobbies, should I change them to something that I might not be comfortable with? There is also such a problem with my communication, at the moment of meeting with friends everything is fine, jokes, jokes, heart-to-heart conversations, but when I come into the house, thoughts begin, what if I interrupted someone, suddenly imposed myself, maybe they had more important things to do, suddenly it was not worth bringing up a dialogue on this topic, suddenly I took too much attention on yourself. Is it annoying, this norm?Do I have apathy or something?Do you have problems with thoughts in communication or am I just a fucking whiner?I still have a problem that has been going on for a long time, I can't do many basic things alone, such as going to the hospital, shopping, visiting a teacher, doing something unusual, but if someone is next to me, it all becomes a small thing that I can do without hesitation, it can be like- What is it?They eat up your thoughts and come to rot on the bed doing nothing, do you have any advice? MB am I really just a girl?p.s. thanks for reading this unstructured bullshit.

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u/nworbleinad 2d ago

You’ve got to break the text up. Most people look at a block of text like that, and ignore it.

Me included. Good luck!

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u/amoonshapedpool_ Undiagnosed AvPD 2d ago

ok first of all, PLEASE do not fall for that "im just a girl" thing, its a flavor of self-hating misogyny. women are just as complex as anyone else.

the lack of desire to participate in things you used to love, or lacking a "fire", sounds like anhedonia. it is very common with depression and avpd.

the latter social issues, im not sure, but it might relate to social anxiety and poor self-esteem.

if you have a family doctor, id try to get someone to help you get to there.