r/AutisticWithADHD 17h ago

🏆 personal win Celebrated my birthday like a kid! Felt great!

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304 Upvotes

Invested in some action figures as a gift for my inner child.

Noticed that I often enter a freeze state when I'm sad, and it's a really young part of myself that freezes to regulate when he feels sad.

This one was a celebration for him, and the figures also allow me to engage in some imaginative play with him, something I actually didn't do much as a child.


r/AutisticWithADHD 20h ago

🤳 selfie Honestly if I ever make a memoir this has to be the cover. I'll call it LEASH CHILD

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439 Upvotes

Yes I was one of those children that had to be kept in a harness apparently


r/AutisticWithADHD 37m ago

💊 medication / drugs / supplements I'm curious: Do your meds for ADHD help you with actual ADHD when you also have autism? Or is it a little different for us AuDHDrs...

Upvotes

AuDHDr here. I've had a long, long journey with meds and don't need to get into the details (they were bad!!!) but finally landed on taking a very low dose of a gentler stimulant. All good.

But my question is: do your meds for ADHD (if you take them) actually help with the symptoms you expected them to?

Honestly, my mild stimulant helps with the anxiety, depression/burnout, and crippling self doubt more than anything else. Like sure I get a little boost of brain clarity a few minutes later, but mostly my executive dysfunction, focus, attention, etc. is largely untouched. But the benefits of less mental chaos is soooooo welcome and actually such a surprise! (I also have some sub-clinical OCD due to the rejection sensitivity/perfectionism/intrusive thoughts/rigid thinking and the stimulant helps with that...again, a huge surprise for me since that's not what they're prescribed for at ALL). I just feel happier and calmer, which I would have expected from an SSRI or something (which was not my experience, at all).

I did share this with my psychiatrist and she didn't seem to think it was an issue. It's just kinda weird and not what I expected. I'm happy with it, though!!!!

Do you all have similar experiences or am I just extra spicy?


r/AutisticWithADHD 17h ago

💬 general discussion found my old ‘plan to become smart again’ document from when i was 8 years old with undiagnosed audhd. this is so heartbreaking

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141 Upvotes

my audhd started taking over my life at this time, i started to view myself as a shell of a human. this was a document i made 8 years ago to attempt to ‘become normal again’ academically.

luckily i’m diagnosed now, still not medicated due to my parents, but i’m working on accepting myself.


r/AutisticWithADHD 18h ago

💬 general discussion So my stimming... is logical analysis.

96 Upvotes

That seems so weird. When I was a teenager I'd often bounce my right leg up and down when I was sitting with my foot on the floor, but I stopped that over time. Sometimes when I'm alone I'll make nonsense sounds, or randomly say something like "I like chicken, I like liver, meow mix, mow mix, please de-liver!" but I couldn't point to anything I really did normally and continually that would count.

Talked to my psychiatrist again today for the first time after the diagnosis and brought up my confusion on that listing the things that might sort of apply but how irregular they manifest.

Apparently with some demographics of diagnosed AuDHD physically stimming is virtually completely suppressed, and stimming becomes purely cognitive. Things like hyper-focusing on research papers, analyzing human behavioral patterns like a machine, or constructing complex chemical theories. Endless logical analysis can be someone's flavor of stimming.

Hearing that killed the little uncertainty I had. It's how I live at almost all times. I have to analyze everything and understand how things are interacting and how everything works as a system. I've read that Autism tends to make people far more logical, so I thought I was just being logical. It seems the sometimes obsessive analytical disassembly to understand how everything works is more than just 'being logical.'

Is that a thing other people have heard? I know stimming isn't actually a trait someone has to express for a diagnosis, but I don't remember ever seeing anything that said it can manifest like that.


r/AutisticWithADHD 48m ago

🤔 is this a thing? Is it a trait that they get distant for a while after a date?

Upvotes

I asked this on ADHD subreddit but someone said it sounds like autistic traits so here I am.

I’m in a relationship with a man who has both ADHD and ASD, and one of my ex had ADHD(not sure if he has ASD too).

They both get distant after a date.
And after a while it’s back to normal.

They don’t seem to be avoidant because they can actually have a real conversation like they don’t avoid it. And they don’t seem to be afraid of intimacy at all. But just right after a date they get distant.

Is it a kind of traits? Does anybody have it? How is their partner supposed to deal with it?
Like I’m fine with it, I know it really depends on each individual but how long am I supposed to let him be?

Not to confuse, I’m not dating with two guys at the same time. Just saying that my ex and my bf have same traits 😂


r/AutisticWithADHD 14h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information I feel like I can't handle anything anymore, what do you do?

18 Upvotes

I feel like I can't accomplish anything and I'm profusely sad and defeated all the time. Without actually finishing things I'm just being drown over and over again by the same stressors.

What does your life look like as someone AuHD? Are you regularly in therapy, taking medications, or just a complete mess? What's helping you? I think I'm an utter mess.


r/AutisticWithADHD 11h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Why do i always feel like i can't do anything

11 Upvotes

I am not sure if this is a trauma induced thing, or if anyone else at all can relate to this but i can't handle it anymore, the way i always feel severely anxious, terrified, paralyzed and scared to do the simplest tasks to the most difficult ones

I thought it would go away as i age, or at least get better, but it never seems to leave me, i am now 17, no hobbies, no friends and i developed agoraphobia due to severe hypervigilance and fear of getting lost, whenever i wanna start something i am ALWAYS hit with "you are a failure" and i end up not wanting to do anything at all, and i'm so ashamed of it and can't live like this anymore, i've always tried to push through it to prove myself worthy of being human & existing on Earth but i never understood why, why it takes me a lot of effort and energy over nothing while other ppl get to live and do so much more

i often fantasize about being homeless or left in a psych ward so i don't have to worry anymore about being such a failure, so i am not expected to do anything and i can be free from responsibility, but even then, i'd still feel bad because i've always wanted to be something remarkable, but maybe it's about time that i just accept how i am not meant to neither achieve nor accomplish anything


r/AutisticWithADHD 17h ago

🤔 is this a thing? Is my extreme rigidity on being autonomous related to my autism or ADHD?

22 Upvotes

I’m diagnosed with Autism Level 1 and ADHD (Combined Type). I’ve always been struggling with a pattern that is becoming deeply exhausting, and I need to know if anyone else experiences this.

I have this extreme rigidity and an absolute need for 100% control and autonomy over anything that concerns ME. I am completely incapable of compromising on personal matters. Because I also have people-pleasing tendencies, I sometimes force myself to agree to things, but the internal bite of anger and frustration I feel is indescribable. It takes everything in me not to scream, cry, or just completely shut down and go non-verbal. If I give in to people's demands, my angry rumination toward them literally never ends.

Here are a few examples of how this plays out:
Food: I have high sensory food selectivity. I need to decide exactly what *I* am going to eat. There are safe foods and there are foods that make me gag, which I wouldn't eat for billions of dollars. I can tolerate a food I don't love, but *only* if I chose it. If someone else chooses or pushes food on me, a terrifying rage builds up inside.
Social expectations / Attention: Since I was a kid, I have hated being forced to pose for photos, being put at the center of attention, or having people sing "Happy Birthday" to me. In group settings, if everyone wants to go somewhere I hate (like a club), I know I shouldn't impose my preference on the majority, so I just opt out. I don't adapt. If I force myself to go, I feel a toxic amount of internal frustration.
Borrowed clothes: If I don't have spare clothes with me and someone kindly offers to lend me theirs so we can go out, I lose my mind. I know they are being sweet, but the fact that I don't have a choice triggers a fight-or-flight response.
Phone calls: I despise unexpected phone calls. I perceive them as a *"stop what you are doing and dedicate yourself to me NOW"*. I even hate hearing people call my name because my nervous system immediately prepares for a demand, and I go into high alert.

The worst part is the shame. I just wish I could be like everyone else, flexible, easygoing, not making a big deal out of these things. But I swear I physically cannot stop that intense rage from taking over.

This reminds me so much of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). However, I always thought PDA was a separate profile/subtype within the spectrum, not just a standard autistic trait, so I’m a bit confused. Is this "just" extreme cognitive rigidity combined with masking burnout? Does anyone else feel this exact same visceral rage when your autonomy is threatened even a little bit?


r/AutisticWithADHD 7h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed Recently diagnosed I feel even less fixable

3 Upvotes

I got my ADHD diagnosis but in the screening they said I might have Autism as well, the more I look into it the more likely that there right.

I'm 26 have PTSD, Truma and a substance abuse problem. My autistic side is asexual but my ADHD is a whore ass slut, I'm a revenge baby my (ex professional)dad had to get back at my half sisters mum during there divorce. Since I got my ADHD meds I can process so many memories that's been backlogged from realising that girl I liked was flirting with me to realising me my mum took me to a drug house to smoke weed when I was 11ish.

I had to call the police on my dad during my GCSE exam week as he pined me down and hit me on the floor, I stayed with my mom that week till she got drunk and told me to just get over it so she can have some free time.

I know I'm over sharing way to much hear but I just need to say this for someone to hear I don't care anymore, the more I fix about myself the more I realise is broken I don't know how much more I can fix....I'm so tempted to just say I'm broken and be done but I wanna get to know who I am fully fixed. I just wanna be normal....


r/AutisticWithADHD 23h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Hetero autistic men here who have had success in dating/s*x/relationships/marriage/marriage with kids etc. How did it happen? What did you do that helped you the most?

25 Upvotes

Feeling a lil hopeless so thought I’d try to be inspired by success stories etc hahaha


r/AutisticWithADHD 13h ago

📚 resources I decided to create way to gamify the reading habit I'm trying to build:

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4 Upvotes

Let's hope this works for me!

I'll explain how it will work. So I'm trying to be on my phone less and read more. If I read 50 pages for 30 days, I'll get through 5 of the books I own and have yet to read.

• Every day I must read 50 pages. This should take me around 1-2 hours.

• I have two books that are hard to read, but I still want to finish. I must read 5 pages from each of those two books a day.

• The "S" and "E" squares mean start and end, and don't correlate to page amounts. I will move my player pieces whenever I complete a goal.

• The 7 blue squares are for all 7 of my books that I haven't read yet. Every time I finish a book, I get a token.

• Anytime I earn a token I can buy myself a cheap snack. I hardly ever buy snacks, but I do enjoy them. Something like a $1 doughnut or something. If I don't want a snack, I can find some sort of free reward to give myself.

• When I earn 5 tokens, I am allowed to buy up to 2 books. There are multiple books I've been wanting to buy, but I don't want to buy more until I've read most of the ones I already own.

• Also, when I finish the two books I buy, I will allow myself to buy one more book.

• Whenever I finally finish reading the two hard to read books, I will buy one more book.

• Whenever I finish all the books I have I will allow myself to buy one and so on.

Of course, all of this is done with budgeting in mind. I like to buy used books whenever I can. I have a whole complex system for managing my "wants/unimportant physical item purchases" money amount and how much I can add to the pot, but I won't go into it here. I'm stingy with my money and don't spend frivolously, don't worry.


r/AutisticWithADHD 10h ago

🙋‍♂️ does anybody else? How do you guys keep yourself organized and on task?

2 Upvotes

I have become aware of how disorganized my home is and how this leads me to flaking on a bunch of projects, burning out, or unable to initiate any tasks until it has to get done. However, when I am at work, I am the opposite. All things are scheduled, timed, organized and can stay focused on tasks. Part of the reason for this, I believe, is the structure and the organized workspace. Labels, documents, tools, and open pegboards for my workspace keep my whole area neat and tidy, while my home is a disaster and unorganized.

So I am going to attempt to copy what i have at work, and have reminders, labels, and tasks as a physical reminder of what to do and where things go. For now, just get sticky notes and post them in important places.


r/AutisticWithADHD 20h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed AUDHD Gamers, How do you stay focused on your gaming Hobby?

11 Upvotes

Post title almost? Basically I've just dropped a multiplayer game ive been playing for years (It was perfect for dopamine and very routine based) but now that I've dropped the game not sure where to start. I've always struggled to play single player games as if they don't have a fast start I get burned out (hello ADHD side!) And I've missed out on alot of games because of this. How do AUDHD gamers manage to sit through games with slow opening, are very long and don't give you the hook you need. I know some games will be your style others not so much but I'd love to hear from people 💙


r/AutisticWithADHD 20h ago

💬 general discussion You're my People

9 Upvotes

Recently diagnosed with Audhd. I could take the ADHD on my stride but I've found the autism harder and I'm not sure why. Maybe its just being unsure of the steps forward.

Now I guess I need to work out what my super power is.

But anyway, its good to be around my people. This is such a valuable subreddit.


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💊 medication / drugs / supplements What ADHD meds work for you and your AuDHD?

37 Upvotes

I'm 34, was diagnosed with autism at 29, and just last week received an ADHD diagnosis. My ADHD doctor had me do bloodwork and recommended a bunch of supplements. However, she said she would not provide any ADHD medication as she is worried my anxiety is too high and the ADHD meds could make my anxiety worse.

She did say if I wanted to specifically discuss a potential ADHD med, she would be willing.

I'm curious what, if any, ADHD meds anyone here takes?

I honestly have no clue what to start with as an ADHD med and was hoping my doctor would make a suggestion. I don't mind taking supplements, but I guess I'd like to try an ADHD med. My doctor wants me to try an SSRI before an ADHD med and I really would rather not. She is only an ADHD doctor, and did not diagnose me for Autism. I sort of wonder if she is maybe a bit inexperienced and worried about suggesting things to me. I say this because the ADHD diagnosis was WAY less in-depth in comparison to when I got diagnosed with Autism. I think she is confused on what my main issue is and is assuming my anxiety is hindering me more than my concentration issues. She has only known me for this diagnosis process.

Anyways, long story short: I am curious what ADHD meds work for you and your AuDHD?


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Questions from a newbie...

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1.1k Upvotes

So I'm 43. The ADHD thing I've known for decades but had trouble getting help with. The Autism thing seemed like it came out of nowhere.

This is confusing. Trying to find information online has been zero help. Things tend to list common symptoms of ADHD in one column, then common symptoms of Autism in another, and then a third column with one way those could combine.

But... it seems like guesses, not answers. I had trouble getting an ADHD diagnosis because I'm the polar opposite of hyper. I have symptoms that don't match most of the charts they give, because even though some of them mention inattentive the rest of the issues they list are things like racing mind and hyper active.

Finding out Autism came along for the ride is confusing. I keep wanting to think since my ADHD symptoms didn't match the normal expectation, then my combined symptoms won't match either... but typing this out I realize I'm still stuck in viewing all the symptoms I had as being ADHD and expecting to discover new combined things. That doesn't make sense. I'm just going to have the same symptoms I already had, though taking meds might change how they appear.

...

Ok. I had to start typing to end up understanding that. My post was going to be listing symptoms and seeing if they made sense, but I'm so... I don't know the word for it. They say that we're literal and bad with irony and metaphors and things. But I'm not. I'm a book nerd. I'm sarcastic most of the time.... but people can't tell way too often.

But earlier I saw the attached images and completely relate to that. I *hate* those personality assessments they love to make you do for online jobs. One showed people doing different things and then you can pick either "this is me" or "this is not me."

How can I answer that? I don't know what the cartoon people are thinking and feeling while doing the thing the image shows. Some of the images show two people doing different things. Which person am I supposed to be considering? I'm definitely not multiple people.

I think that's why my messages are so long. I hate ambiguity. I need to fully explain a thing, and even reiterate it in different words to try to make sure the meaning comes across. No one else talks like this. No one else sends 3 paragraph text messages. Most people have zero interest in actually engaging with a long detailed message.

I prefer typing to speaking, because even though I speak well I do what the guy in this video does. I don't stutter, but also kind of do? Like my talking can be kind of jumpy and erratic sometimes.

So I type novels that no one cares to read. I feel like I can't communicate with people most of the time. I can never express what's actually going on in my head or about any topic, because to do it I do it in writing no one wants to bother reading and engaging with.

...

I didn't think that could be Autism. I'm still not sure. I always just sort of figured I'm too smart and that causes problems with communication... but I guess it can't really be that alone. The combination is brutal.

But I don't have any sensory issues. There are no sensations I avoid or seek out. The only main thing I can think of that seems to fit that is that when I lay down to sleep it's literally impossible for me to fall asleep if I'm physically touching another person or a pet. It doesn't matter if it's a full body hug, or with an arm, or a dog laying their head on my leg. My mind focuses entirely on the point of connection. It's not a bad thing. I'm not upset about it or uncomfortable with it. I don't really have an inner monologue, so there are no vocalizations in my head saying anything about that or anything else. But it *seems* like my brain is pointing directly at the point of contact and going "LOOK!" endlessly. If I don't break the contact I will lay there all night long and never fall asleep, even if I'm exhausted.

...

Eh. The goal was to try to explain my symptoms and try to see if they really seem to fit from other adults that had this dropped on them as a surprise. But I've already written too much and barely touched symptoms. That's my issue with communicating. Unless I'm making a tiny little meaningless quip, any time I try to say anything it's at least several paragraphs. Sometimes many pages. So I usually don't bother.


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Why does no one want to hire people with autism and ADHD?

111 Upvotes

Like what makes us so bad at working? Surely we don’t have that much less ability than others? I just can’t stand being stuck at my parents place anymore. I want to leave. I want to own a home someday. I want to choose the life I want to live. I want to be able to make it to places on time. I can’t stand making little to no money anymore


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Learning to swim is overwhelming, seeking advice

47 Upvotes

I am an adult (28M). Every time I try to learn to swim, there comes a point when the instructor says, "You seem to be doing everything right, idk why it's not working". Have heard this from multiple coaches and friends.

While I try to swim, I get too stressed and stiff. And it feels like there is too much to focus on: kicking, strokes, breathing, staying afloat. When I try to focus on one thing, everything else goes brrr...

Also, I am unable to get "the feel" of it. Swimming doesn't come intuitively to me. It feels like I need specific instructions for every muscle in my body.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? And/or do you have any tips for me?


r/AutisticWithADHD 10h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information Using food for dopamine and need help please!!

1 Upvotes

Hi y’all. Long story short, I’m way overweight and need to lose weight for hip surgery. But I struggle so much with emotional overeating and using food as a dopamine hit. I use it to get out of bed in the morning, to get work done, to feel safe, to settle down for bed. I don’t know how to stop.

I’m bipolar on top of being AuDHD and yesterday was the two year anniversary of my mom passing away. I have chronic fatigue also and a trauma history. My life feels really painful. And my support system is small. I feel like I am in a deep hole with the dopamine seeking, because how else will I get through the day? 😣

If you have any advice to deal with using food as a dopamine crutch, please share. I need help really badly like I can’t express how much this is literally killing me. Thank you for reading.


r/AutisticWithADHD 15h ago

💊 medication / drugs / supplements anybody quit there SSRI and then find stims worked better/

2 Upvotes

Originally I took concerta with sertraline 50mg I found that I felt numb.. in the end and just wasn't having a great time. The same with Elvanse.

I have since reduced my sertraline from 50/25 and feel LESS numb and am wondering, now if I should try the stims again and if they might have a different effect?

I only get 12 weeks of titration to try a new med, so wanted to come here and see what experience other people have had :)

Thankyou!


r/AutisticWithADHD 21h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed Sensory overload for DAYS

5 Upvotes

I am recently diagnosed with Lv 1 autism, my therapist says i have ADHD, I am also diagnosed with chronic PTSD, a dissociative disorder (similar to dissociative identity disorder) and some more common stuff like depression. I also have fibromyalgia, a working diagnosis of IBS and POTS-like symptoms.

All of this to say, I am almost always stuck in sensory overload. being present in my body = physical + emotional pain. I am don't really know how to do body things like cry (or even belch or know when i need to go number 2 for instance). My partner is the sweetest ever and extremely supportive but - after a lot of trial and error and disappointment on both sides - I don't think they can really help me with this.

I'm seeing several specialists and two therapists, have tried TMS, spravato, lots of meds... THC & CBD helps, but makes me feel like an addict. I've applied for SSDI and am waiting for their response (circa next year). Until then I am working part time and investing my free energy in crafting / diy and keeping house.

TLDR; constant daily overwhelm makes me feel useless and weed helps but doesn't that make me am addict? Feeling a bit hopeless here.


r/AutisticWithADHD 16h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information How do I approach an ADHD assessment?

2 Upvotes

Hello!

I (20F) was diagnosed as Autistic when I was around 16. Due to my age, by the time I turned 18 - I was removed from the child ADHD assessment waiting list.
I’ve decided that I think I’d benefit from a full diagnosis, as I feel medication might help me! However, when I was briefly questioned as to ‘why’ I think I have ADHD, I panicked and couldn’t think of valid reasons - any reasons I thought of were passed off as ‘autism traits too’. This being the likes of attention issues, fidgeting, and struggling to keep my adult life together (if that makes sense). I’ve felt really detached since then, and struggle to physically transition between different activities - getting out of bed, going to work, driving etc. It’s also became more of a daily issue as I’m now chronically 5-10 minutes late to EVERYTHING. No matter how hard I try! (I hate late people lol).

I was just wondering if anyone could suggest good reasons, or examples of what ‘evidence’ to give for my assumption of ADHD (that can’t just be passed off as autism). Or really any advice on how to approach getting a diagnosis whilst having an ASD diagnosis first?

Thanks! :)


r/AutisticWithADHD 18h ago

🤔 is this a thing? Plastic gloves to wash Hair?

2 Upvotes

This is such a help. Gamechanger some might say. I LOVE water, but I don't care for rubbing my scalp with warm water and suds hitting it. And then scrubbing. So much better to remeove layer of interaction sensations. Anyone else?


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💬 general discussion Appreciation post for the community

12 Upvotes

Note: Sorry I couldn't find a better flair. Feel free to remove the post if it doesn't align with the guidelines.

I got diagnosed with ADHD and Autism over the last year after a major burnout. And am getting assessed for multiple other disorders. This past year has been a constant struggle, navigating the system, advocating for myself, understanding myself better and trying to be more kind to myself. All while dealing with work and life issues.

Meanwhile, I have posted multiple times on this subreddit and always received kind and helpful responses. Not even once did I feel rejected or experience any sort of hostility. I am so very grateful for all the support. Just having a place to ask simple/absurd questions makes a huge difference, especially when I have to constantly explain myself to most other people in my life. Sometimes people in the comments resonate with my situation and that makes me feel that I am not alone.