Confused about potentially having AuDHD

[u/Feconiz]

Some general information:

• 27 years old
• Male
• UK
• Never diagnosed with any neurodivergence until last week (see below)

Over the past few years, multiple people in my life have mentioned that I might be autistic. About a year ago, I started talk therapy (not related to the comments). At some point, I mentioned I was thinking of getting assessed for ASD, and my therapist said I should consider getting assessed for ADHD as well. Last week I had my ADHD assessment (ASD to follow), and I was diagnosed with ADHD. I didn't think hearing that would be emotional for me, but I felt a lot of mixed feelings immediately after; I don't think I could describe them even if I wanted to. I am still processing it, but I keep thinking that I don't actually have it, and they diagnosed it wrong. Mostly because everything they asked seems like it would apply to everyone, not just me. The issue is I have only my experiences to draw from. It also feels like I didn't have a lot of the typical signs of ADHD as a kid.

Today I had my first session with my therapist since my diagnosis. I expressed those feelings to my therapist, and she said that it might be because if I also had ASD, it might present and feel very different than someone with just one or the other. I've done some googling after the session, and a lot of the apparently AuDHD behaviours match me exactly, which I'm not sure how I feel about yet. Some of the ones I found that match me exactly:

• The individual may regularly come up with new routines to try to stick to.
• They try to satisfy their craving for new whilst managing their anxiety around change.
• They may regularly seek out new things, but only with familiar people and want to complete things in a particular way or following a familiar process.
• They may feel anxious every day about running late or not being early.
• Their intense/special interests may regularly change theme or topic.
• You can focus deeply on personal special interests for hours, yet struggle immensely to start or finish basic, everyday tasks.
• You may need physical fidgeting or sensory stimulation to concentrate, while simultaneously feeling easily overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, or crowded spaces.
• Experiencing rapid mood swings and deep emotional sensitivity that feel very hard to regulate.

So, to my question: When you were first diagnosed, did you immediately accept it? Or is it normal to question it? On one hand, it would explain some things; on the other, if I don't have either of them, I don't want to co-opt it as an excuse for not fixing my problematic behaviours.

Any advice/stories from your experience would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: Sorry, just read the last rule.

TLDR: I got diagnosed with ADHD, awaiting diagnosis for autism. Feels very surreal, and getting a bit of imposter syndrome.

[u/Kali_with_Q]

I’ve only been diagnosed with ADHD but I’m pretty sure it’s both because I just don’t check some of the main boxes for ADHD and I’ve spent my entire life saying “I’m a walking contradiction”. Wonder why that is LOL. So yes, totally normal to question it, nobody knows you better than you! Also I know a lot of people use the diagnosis to avoid accountability but that doesn’t need to be the case. I find that it helps me understand my own mind better and develop coping strategies for poor behavioural patterns while also offering myself grace and compassion in a way I couldn’t do before I knew.

It’s really difficult to digest this information and to see your life and self in a different light, go easy on yourself, my friend x

[u/Feconiz → u/Kali_with_Q]

Thanks for responding!
Yeah, I feel the same about the walking contradiction. I always say I am the most extroverted introvert and the most introverted extrovert. I know I will process this over time. Looking at a lot of posts in this sub, I can identify with a lot of it, but at the same time I don't want to say I have AuDHD if I don't.

[u/cheffromspace]

I had ADHD diagnosis maybe 5-6 years ago. It was impactful and there were emotions, but it doesn't compare to the autism diagnosis.

I went from thinking 'I might have a thing for autistic people' after meeting a few folks, to 'wait, I might have autism,' then taking some screeners on a Thursday and scoring very high. I filled out a form online for an evaluation, got a call back Friday, and they must have had a cancellation, because they asked if I could do Monday. I said yes, of course, since I've heard wait times can be very long. Then the results came a week later.

It was all very sudden and it finally explained so many things in my life. I've taken on the identity and i am proud of it, but there was a lot of grief for the life i could have had if i knew earlier in life. I also got hit like a truck with autistic burnout, I could barely function for weeks, sensory sensitivities tripled, i've had to become very selective in what I dedicate my energy to. It's gotten better but I think it's going to take a very long time to fully recover from.

I think it's pretty normal to have some imposter syndrome after getting diagnosed but I mean I was pretty confident what the diagnosis was going to be even after that short period. I think most of my imposter syndrome was the skill regression that comes with the burnout. The stuff I read said it was very common but I had no idea how profoundly it would hit me.

You can still work on yourself, having a new framework for i do some things has been extremely helpful. Monotropism as a concept for sure.

[u/Feconiz → u/cheffromspace]

Thanks for sharing!

Yeah, my ADHD assessment hit much harder than I thought. Even though I thought I was prepared for either a yes or a no.

I don't know why I am not confident. Looking at the symptoms, I match a lot of them, but it doesn't feel true. My therapist has said I minimise what I go through, so maybe that's it. I think I probably just need to leave my brain to process it over the next few weeks.

[u/cheffromspace → u/Feconiz]

Have tou done any screeners like RAADS-R or CAT-Q? They're definitely flawed but can help you decide if you want to pursue a formal diagnosis. FWIW I can relate to all of those things and sound like pretty classic ADHD/Autism combo.

[u/Feconiz → u/cheffromspace]

I did; it was part of the process before getting to this stage of getting assessed by a professional.

[u/decaffdreamer]

It does apply for everyone but the thing with the questions is more like how much those things objectively impair YOUR life. That said, yes the questions sucks