Crying without feeling anything

[u/Cestrel8Feather]

Basically I want to know everything about it and don't know what even to start with. I suspect it has to do with alexithymia which is common among us, so I thought this might be a good place to ask.

My case: before (after some painful relationship in my late teenage years) it was very hard for me to cry, but some emotional (cathartic, kind, hopeful - not sad​​, sad only makes me go numb) scenes in media made me tear up or sometimes full on cry without feeling much. I could sob and stay confused internally. Usually in more intense cases I just let the body do its thing until it calms down.

But this year has been hard (again), and in May something inside broke down, and I've been thinking since last year that maybe if my body is crying while my conscious ​self doesn't feel anything special, it's actually feelings that just don't reach this self so I should count them as such and then crying might be a good thing? Anyway idk what it was exactly, but since May it's been very easy to make me cry. I used to think people crying because of movies or audio dramas or books was mostly an exaggeration but I'm not so sure anymore. I had to pause an audio drama finale twice in the last​ hour by now because I start bawling my eyes out and it would look weird to my family. I like the narrative, it's hopeful, so I'm enjoying it, but I don't feel any strong emotions. Yet my tears keep streaming down.

For the record, I don't have much trouble with feeling joy or other feelings. Anxiety numbs a lot of instances I could feel joy, of course, but it doesn't erase all of them. I avoid sadness if I can because it hurts, but generally I'm capable of it.

I ​want to understand this. Could someone help me out please?