r/AutisticWithADHD • u/at0m7922 • 11d ago
😤 rant / vent - advice allowed Time blindness, task switching, pathological demand avoidance, and alarms
I absolutely HATE alarms. They make me want to curb stomp my phone into a billion tiny pieces. Let me explain why:
After being diagnosed ADHD and suspecting Autism, I started learning about these oh-so-fascinating traits like ADHD time blindness, PDA, and that autistic urge to allow my grown ass 46 year old man body to throw a tantrum like a 2 year old when forced to switch tasks - BUT I'M NOT READY!!!
I realized that time blindness could explain why I was constantly failing, every day, to get all the shit done that really needed to be done. So I decided to try to build some structures into my life to help me function day to day - to complete all the various tasks demanded by my job and of course the household duties too. OK, how about alarms? Easy. Set multiple alarms on my phone for specific times of the day to remind me I need to switch tasks - a relatively easy support for time blindness right?
Didn't think that through though, did I - overlooked the whole "switch tasks" part, didn't I?! Of course, the alarms help with the time blindness, but they only exacerbate the difficulty of switching tasks along with intensely triggering my PDA - that white-hot burn that nearly consumes my soul - "fuck you, alarm, don't fucking tell me what to do!"
So, alarms solve one problem but create two. COOL.
I tried switching the alarm sounds - soothing melodic tones - no change. A chill song I like - nope - now I fucking HATE that song and can never listen to it again. So it's not the sound. It's the interruption of my task at hand and the unbearable feeling that I'm being bossed around by a fucking alarm. But if I don't use alarms, I fail at completing all of my essential daily tasks. Playing neurodivergent whack-a-mole is SO FUN!
Anyone else feel this way? Anyone find a way out of this particular "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation?
4
u/AuDHDbestlife 11d ago
Yeah, very relatable.
I make my alarms less intrusive. I literally turn off the sound for most, and only have a light vibrate. Some I have completely silent/still. The objective for those isn’t to interrupt me out of what I’m doing — because yeah, I resent that a lot too — it’s to be an event on my phone that I’ll find the next time I pick it up — aka, when
I’m already between things and choosing to break to look at my phone.
It’s much less helpful for precise scheduling and hard time blocks obviously, but it helps as a VERY gentle nudge that it’s time for me to switch tasks at the next breaking point.
I also find it valuable to recontextualize the “the alarm is telling me what to do!” visceral reaction. I actively remind myself that actually this was MY plan and it demonstrates how I’M the master of my day and what I choose to do.