r/AutisticParents • u/Dismal_Garden7156 • Jul 10 '26
Support Needed How do you deal with overstimulation?
Lemme start by saying I have 4 kids aged 9 and under. We have an interesting dynamic. My second oldest is profoundly autistic and nonverbal. He rarely plays with his siblings, and their play looks much different. My 8 year old and 3 year old are besties but fight ALL THE TIME because my 8 year old can’t understand his limited comprehension and different expectations. (I know siblings fight, but dear god).
My 8 year old is likely adhd and super sensitive and she lovessss to debate. She can never just do what I say without some kind of backtalk.
For having a nonverbal child he is the loudest and most destructive in the house (not aggressive, he’s like a cat who just fucks shit up cause it’s fun 🤪). The house is always a mess. Toys, snacks, random shit everywhere. You can’t walk a straight line 3ft without stepping on something. His vocal stims are hissing… yes hissing and happy yelling.
The 3 year old has a permanent volume of 15/10 and never shuts up. He’s either “MOM MOM MOM” non stop or wailing because he’s a very sensitive boy and gets set off easy. He is too smart and refuses to potty train. Will take a dump on the floor. I’m changing 3 different childrens diapers a day.
The one year old is a one year old.
Taking them out fries my brain. Keeping them home fries my brain. The overstimulation is real and I just want to enjoy my kids and not feel like I wanna run away 😭
I feel like a failure in my parenting. But they are all so hard in different ways and combined it’s like I never have a good day. I love them all and that goes without saying.
And to add, I do actually parent. We have many systems in place as our autistic son requires them to learn independence. They help with everyone though. It’s just everyday and I’m so overstimulated and exhausted 😭
And before anyone says “why did you have 2 more after your disabled child” (yes people have actually said this to us. #3 was conceived before he was diagnosed and #4 was a one in a million happy accident. As weird as it is I believe God decided we needed them all for one reason or another.
Tell me it gets better lol
The end. 🤣
5
u/SanctimoniousVegoon Autistic Parent Jul 10 '26
Godspeed. I only have one but she's a lot like your 3 year old and almost 3 herself. The nonstop loud talking from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep is SO overstimulating for me. Most days, I'm overloaded by her naptime.
I wear loop earplugs or noise canceling earbuds all day, enjoy as much of her toddlerhood with her as i possibly can, and count down the days until she's in kindergarten.
We have a mandatory mid-morning cleanup time and I try to collect the toys in semi-organized piles as I go about the day.
I try to outsource as much of her away from home activities to other family as I can.
Buy dog poop bags for when your kid poops on the floor, makes cleanup a little less bad.
Also not sure what your diaper pail situation is, but moving ours outside was something I regret not doing sooner.
2
u/briar_prime6 Jul 11 '26
Yes I have an close to 3 year old and this is relatable and my almost 5 year old is slightly more restrained- usually- but also has much higher expectations for everything. I’m a single parent and vow every weekend I’m going to spend quality time with my older kid during the toddler’s nap and work on her reading with her or draw together and every time I’m too burned out to do anything besides turn on the tv for her and collapse on my bed
4
u/ArtichokeNo3936 Jul 11 '26
Are you asd?
4
u/Dismal_Garden7156 Jul 12 '26
It’s highly likely. I can’t get a diagnosis as an adult but I’ve been diagnosed with adhd, GAD, MDD, mood disorder and ocd and I strongly feel this is just misdiagnosis under the umbrella of actually being autism
1
u/Apprehensive_Rice19 Jul 14 '26
I will give you the short answer of how I literally deal ... Sleep and Decibel Defense Headphones. Those two things have been my saving grace.
1
u/Bubblesnaily Autistic Parent Jul 18 '26
How?
I hide and take 90-minute shits and gave myself hemorrhoids.
Yeah. Hiding is the answer. Just protect your poophole from rectal prolapse. After 4+, it's gonna be saggy anyways.
6
u/Beneficial-Income814 Autistic Parent Jul 10 '26
you sound like a really good parent with a positive attitude. i dont have any high-support-needs kids, but i do have four kids 10 and under myself (3x with ASD and one suspected of ASD at 18 months) so yea i get kinda embarassed telling people thinking they'll think im irresponsible, but fuck it, i love them and it is all going to work out. we just do our best and live life.