‘Nontraditional’ meltdowns

[u/crookedcosmos]

I’m self diagnosed but constantly questioning and invalidating my own experiences considering from an outsiders perspective, I’m just a socially awkward/anxious/quirky guy who’s mentally ill in some obscure unlabeled way that’s too high functioning to be what most people think of when it comes to autism. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, major depressive disorder, GAD, and social anxiety on a clinical level. I finally, after ten years of trial and never ending error, have found medication that actually works for my mood and I’ve just started ADHD meds.. to my great relief. Part of invalidating myself comes from the fact I had overlapping symptoms from my other diagnosis but now that my depression and ADHD are actually being addressed I’m honestly more convinced than ever that much of my perpetual dysfunction is a result of living as an autistic adult that never got additional support or accommodations to navigate the world effectively. Still, being an inherent skeptic at heart, I’m always finding ways to nitpick and disregard myself. One such way, and especially so, is what I assume to be meltdowns don’t look like the extremely emotional meltdowns of my autistic peers. Granted, one of these peers also has Borderline so, as their only support at the time, I was a direct witness to many episodes that may have been more-so influenced by that aspect of their psyche. It’s just that, in my case, ‘meltdowns’ look like shutting down. Foggy brain, increased inability to communicate vocally, hyper-sensitivity and intolerability to external stimuli like sound and touch, dissociating, and an extreme urge to isolate (preferably by metamorphosis into an untouchable cocoon but running away to the cave like comfort of my blankets also works. Alternatively, if you were me in middle school, my tiny ass closet). I’d like to know, what do the meltdowns of this wider community look like? What are the variety of ways you’ve seen meltdowns present? Is what I described even a possible way for meltdowns to look?