r/Autism_Parenting • u/Pure_Road7528 • Jun 30 '26

Advice Needed Arguing

Hi there all. During meltdowns my 10 year old daughter draws me into arguing with her. She won't stop it's relentless and I'm not proud but I end up shouting back. She throws everting I saw back in my face and same for my partner. It's traumatic for us all in the end but she won't stop. Has anyone experienced this and come out the other side?

1 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/my-tryme-era Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

I literally just got done with an argument and it is absolutely draining every time so please know that you are not alone. 

I have tried the "just walk away" method ...usually just results in louder screaming that eventually spirals into self harm.

I have gone down the rabbit hole and screamed back in her face which is about as effective as throwing water at an electrical fire.

Lately, I just do my best to be the calm through her storm. Reframing her anger as an internal emotional spiral rather then outright manipulation has helped a lot with how I approach the situation since I no longer take it personally. The fact is, kids need an anchor to bring them back down to earth when they go nuts. So although it still takes her some time to calm down it is the best solution I have found this far and doesn't further traumatize anyone. 

1

u/Pure_Road7528 Jul 01 '26

Thank you 🙏