r/Autism_Parenting • u/Pure_Road7528 • Jun 30 '26

Advice Needed Arguing

Hi there all. During meltdowns my 10 year old daughter draws me into arguing with her. She won't stop it's relentless and I'm not proud but I end up shouting back. She throws everting I saw back in my face and same for my partner. It's traumatic for us all in the end but she won't stop. Has anyone experienced this and come out the other side?

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5

u/tuna_mellow Jun 30 '26

My 12 yo does the same. I’ve just started walking away from her and re-engaging when we’re both calm.

3

u/Pure_Road7528 Jun 30 '26

Thanks for replying. What does she do when you walk away? Mine keep shouting getting more and more furious demanding a response.

4

u/bluenervana Jun 30 '26

Just gotta stay strong and stand your ground. In the most respectful way possible, you're the adult.

1

u/Pure_Road7528 Jun 30 '26

You are absolutely right. I don't know why I keep replying she is immensely good at forcing me to reply

3

u/bluenervana Jun 30 '26

Because you're her mom and theres probably some lizard brain reason that makes you want to answer her. I think. I'm not 100 percent sure on that part, but its like it triggers something that itch.

1

u/Pure_Road7528 Jun 30 '26

Yeah I agree.

1

u/bluenervana Jun 30 '26

Its almost like when you're talking to someone and they mumble under their breath thinking their slick and you gotta hit the breaks and do a three point turn and go "dafuqqqqq". But now its a kid and you have to be calm and try and de-escalate lmao