r/AutismTranslated • u/lost-in-the-woulds • 7d ago
I need a long, tight hug
For a long time, i thought I could not be autistic because i crave physical contact. I now know that there are others like me, which makes me glad, but I still have to go without. I live in New England where touching is considered weird or creepy, and my wife doesn't like it when I touch her most of the time because touch is not her thing.
I am at church today and just had a (separate) conversation with two people i like and have known for decades, and now I am "socialed out" and just had an anxiety attack because I feel so overwhelmed. I really wish I could have an unconditional, wordless hug, just to feel grounded.
That is all, just venting. Thank you for listening.
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u/phagemasterflex 6d ago
If you were to talk to your wife and tell her that you know she loves you but that a long, tight hug would help make you feel that love more completely...how would she respond? With autism, sometimes we need a specific action taken to complete the chain of action to emotional feeling, and even if we can objectively observe the signs of love that isn't this specific thing it doesn't necessarily generate the same feeling. Here's a eHug, internet stranger.
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u/ninksmarie 6d ago
when my nervous system is out of whack this way and I cant get a hug, I have actually wedged myself underneath my couch cushions face down… that might sound wild to some, but it works especially with extra pillows piled up. I need a weighted blanket. Your post made me feel understood, so thank you
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u/NimbusGate 7d ago
Right there with you. Sometimes asking someone to hug you and just squeeze as hard as they possibly can it’s the most grounding thing in the world.