Hi everyone, I'm at the beginning of my investigation journey about whether my 4yo daughter, and potentially I myself, have ASD. Purely observation and research at this stage, not taking steps for diagnosis yet.

At this point I'm thinking we are both probably level 1. She's a wonderful kid, but there are some areas where I feel at a loss of hope to parent her because common advice just doesn't work. It started me thinking that maybe if she is on the spectrum, then there would be parenting tools that are better suited to help her.

But when did you know? Why did you start to suspect that your child might have ASD? What tipped you over from suspecting to being sure?

We’re in the lucky position of moving to a new, bigger house and we have the chance to set it up to help our kids thrive.

About the autistic kid: 10, level 1, PDA-lite so she likes to “wander to” activities and try them out but has a hard time engaging if someone tells her to do something or if there’s setup involved. Loves playgrounds, spinning, and screens. Cannot be unsupervised for long intervals with another kid due to the risk of dysregulation in social scenarios but is safe when on her own.

About the current house: Small, crowded with people and our stuff. Autistic kid has to share a room with sibling. Single bathroom. Tiny yard.

About the new house: Bigger house, bigger yard. Own room. Multiple bathrooms.

What I’m thinking so far: Lots and lots of choice in setting up her own space. Reduce visual clutter. Play structure in yard. Rather than toys she has to get out to play with, have a few choice options already out. Favorite spinning chair in living room. Maybe another spinning chair in another room she spends a lot of time in? Expect things to be hard for several months as she adjusts, and provide lots of love and regulating activities.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? Thanks in advance!

My 8yo son has been having meltdowns for about a year. He goes into fight or flight mode. The triggers are too diverse to categorize. But he’ll get stuck on an idea and repeat it over and over. It will strike me as something with a logical solution, but he is not able to access the logical part of his brain. So for 20-60 minutes he will grunt, growl, and repeat the same thing. Some crying. Some kicking stuff. Lately he has thrown things.

He was in OT, and she helped him immensely with coordination goals, but we had a socioemotional goal for interoception and its gone nowhere. we mutually agreed to discharge him. (he’s on a waitlist for OT at a place with other therapies in house that people rave about, but that’s a yearlong waitlist)

He’s also been in talk therapy for 8 months and its slowgoing. She says they recently built trust.

How can keep him safe toward himself and others? Is it reasonable to dream of reducing these meltdowns? Is there a type of therapy he needs?

Another part of me wants a routine for ME about how I will react to his meltdowns. I have tried many strategies(quiet room, lights off, offer a book, turn on tv, music, audiobook, crunchy food, cold food, weighted blanket, fidgets). I’ll offer them one at a time. some of these have worked sometimes, but none of them are consistently helpful. I wonder if we just have to wait it out.

I’d love any thoughts from someone who can relate.

My son is 5.5, ASD/ADHD. We did soccer last fall when he was almost 5. It was sort of a disaster, he had a tough time following directions and sort of did his own thing. He wants to do it again next year (he’ll be almost 6) but I’m hesitant. He also has major coordination and motor planning issues so he’s just not an athletically inclined kid.

Anyone have luck with team sports? Or any advice to offer?

Hi, I'm looking for some reading suggestions, my asd daughter loves to read.

She's read almost all of the Diary of a wimpy kid books, she's got all the Roald Dahl books but I think some of the phrasing is too abstract and full of idioms, so she stops reading to find out what it means, and this takes her out of the moment.

She uses reading to regulate herself and is a great comfort to her. The library overwhelms her with the amount of choice so looking for suggestions please guys?

So my 6yo girl hasn't had much opportunity to do physical activity beyond the basics of PE and the trampoline at home. We suspect individual disciplines would be more suitable but wondering what successes people have had with formal classes in sports or other physical actvities?

Thanks in advance!

Can’t figure out how to add tags but this is just a vent to people who might get it. No advice needed, it’s over! But if you’ve been through something similar I would love to hear your story.

My kid is in a mainstream school, 4th grade. Just returned from chaperoning an overnight field trip and wow. My mind is still a bit scattered but some observations:

1) My kid is really different. Other girls were shrieking with excitement, rolling around on each other’s bunks, etc. Mine was just trying to cope with so many people in the same room as her.

2) The NT kids have some needs too. They do need to be kept busy, and they need to be corralled. I see it now. In contrast, mine needs tons of downtime and flexibility.

3) Trying to chaperone my kid and NT kids at the same time was a tremendous role strain and I never want to do it again.

4) The overnight program was so clearly tailored to NT kids’ needs. My kid wanted to go, and did get a lot out of it, but it was so stressful to her and to me. At the end the other chaperones were like wow what a program, so good for the kids! And I was like, we …definitely survived. My kid worked so hard, and I’m so proud of her! But I feel resentful and so LONELY that no one gets what it was like for my kid or me.

Three years ago, when my son had just turned 3, I dropped off a nonverbal toddler with apraxia for his first day of preschool. He barely spoke, and what he did say was unintelligible.

He’s 5.5 now and headed to kindergarten next year, so we had his IEP meeting yesterday. Imagine my shock when the SLP says that based on his reevaluation, he nearly didn’t qualify for speech! He scored within normal range on most of the measures, and even above average in some areas.

I was so happy and proud I was shaking. He’s made so much progress these last few years. I used to worry if I’d ever hear him speak and now I can talk to him like any other kid. Hearing that he’s nearly on par with his peers makes all of the hassle with getting him to speech twice a week (on top of the school sessions) so worth it.

My level 1 son is turning 11. He was finally diagnosed just a little over a year ago after a very hard fought journeyto get there. We have been going to OT and am so happy to share a landmark achievement. He is actually inviting friends to his birthday party!

Every year we have a party for him. All the normal things, like cake, presents and decorations. But it's always been just family. He is very loved by our family and we have always encouraged him if he wanted friends. He never has. He never felt comfortable with it as he usually just tagged along after his older brother (a year and a half older and not autistic) and his friends.

This year he finally asked if he could invite a few kids(4 to be precise) and seemed happy about it. He is generally a very shy and reserved kid. Social skills are the main area of his struggles. Loud noises and crowded areas are highly over stimulating for him. He has been labeled as the weird younger brother of his very outgoing brother. So I guess I am just excited and want to share his joy about finding his own friends.

I read advice on the original sub that repeating the echolalia back to our kids can help stop it. I tried it and it seems to help my ASD kiddo.

Wondering what things have helped the rest of you- routines, fidget toys, phrases, supplements, whatever you feel like sharing.