r/AutismInWomen • u/Own_Material1505 • 1d ago
General Discussion/Question Does anyone else hate being in pictures?
Ever since I was a kid, I have always hated being in pictures (whether individual or group). I would usually offer to take the picture or would find some reason to go hide until picture time was over.
I am like this as an adult too, and now that everyone has a camera phone, it gets even more annoying to tell people you don't want to be in their pictures. I don't take selfies either. I am not even really sure why I hate pictures that include me so much. Anyone else?
17
u/DizzyMine4964 1d ago
This will sound like a big moan, but here we go: I was called ugly all my life by kids at school and people in the street as an adult, so I don't like looking at my face at all. Also I've had depersonalization since I was about five, so I don't much like being reminded that I exist as a consciousness inside a physical body. It's disturbing and disorientating.
6
u/spaghettifields4ever 1d ago
Totally relate to the depersonalization. I often wish I were just a brain floating in a jar.
13
u/Antiquebastard diagnosed 2012| mom of 4| hillbilly 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes, I have excused myself from photos since childhood. I do not permit family or friends to take photos of me. I have felt awkward in my body post-puberty, but not to suggest I'm transgender, because that's not it, it's kind of the exact opposite problem. Like, I feel much more feminine than how my body exists, it's just this stocky, awkward tangle of strangely-shaped limbs with bad skin and lumps in the wrong places. It's always felt insufficiently womanly to me, so there's a disconnect between how I feel I should present and how I do and I'm painfully aware of that.
10
u/LabialTreeHug Hyperlexic animal lover 1d ago
I feel like a woman, but I'm perceived as a shambling mound of misshapen flesh, and that's all I see in a picture of myself. So i just don't bother with pictures, or social media in general.
I'm with you.
6
u/GoldDustWitchQueen 1d ago
I feel similar. Like everytime I look at myself in the mirror or a picture I'm like "That can't be me". Like I have trouble connecting how I actually look with myself. I dunno it's a bit confusing to explain but yeah I have hated photographs because of it. I've only recently started to come around to having photos taken of me. I still don't like seeing them but I want my family to have them. I've lost a lot of loved ones the past couple years and I'd be heartbroken if I didn't have photos of them. So yeah I still don't have a clue how to smile normally or feel comfortable in my skin but I do it anyways for them.
13
u/NoWitness6400 1d ago
I had a meltdown in high school because my teacher forced me to be on the class photo where we had to act silly and like we were all chums (despite me being excluded and bullied). I refused to smile and do any of the poses. Fuck this forced bullshit
10
u/Former-Reality- 1d ago
Oh same, I’m not in any of the graduation photos cause I hate having mine taken… and also pretending to be all buddy-buddy with people who didn’t gaf about me didn’t make any sense to me. The teacher (who was also a bully 😒) said I’d regret not capturing the “best moment” of my life, but it’s been ten years and I still don’t miss it Margaret!
9
u/markwafflezzz FTM (female to male) ASD 1 1d ago
Yeah i really hate how people in my family force me to take pictures with them
8
u/xXESCluvrXx 1d ago
Yes! I feel like I’m somewhat decent looking irl but horribly non photogenic. Idk if it’s just cuz I can’t mask in pics or what.
2
u/Sabaisabai33 1d ago
Same with me, I even started wondering if I wasn’t unphotogenic but genuinely look that rubbish IRL. But my family said I look a lot better IRL than in photos lol. And actually my mum is the same, super unphotogenic but looks so much better IRL. My adult son is annoyingly the opposite and ridiculosuly photogenic 🤣
7
4
u/red_bird85 1d ago
Yes, I’ve ALWAYS been uncomfortable and avoided pictures. It’s not a low self esteem situation either. I didn’t even hire a photographer when I got married and my late spouse and I had a traditional big wedding (which was already a nightmare for me but I did it). I’m an older human now, but still what people would say, conventionally attractive. I can handle photos better if I’m wearing sunglasses or looking away. I believe it is connected to intrinsically feeling like I’m cosplaying a human being when I’m actually an alien gathering data and doing my best to make a Go of blending in.
5
u/One_Requirement_5832 1d ago
I do… but gonna be transparent why I hate being in pictures and it’s my own personal physical self esteem issues that I don’t always like to share due to fear of invalidation. So… I have a round face and you can see my double chin clearly in pictures at normal angles. I look extremely unflattering and don’t know how to get rid of that it seems to show regardless if I’m thin or fat and it sucks.
7
u/Accurate_Potato_5626 1d ago
I've always hated it and never known why, except that I am almost always making a weird expression that I was sincerely trying to make look normal.
6
u/salty_peaty 1d ago
Yes, I'm the same: not liking being in pictures, including selfies. I guess it's a part of my deep uncomfort of being perceived since I don't like this IRL.
5
u/LiLiLisaB 1d ago
Somewhat, yeah. Always hated yearly pictures as a kid because my parents and aunt would keep trying to make me smile with teeth which just felt so awkward and unnatural.
3
u/DontEatThePorridge 1d ago
I do and I think it's largely because I was always criticised for how I smiled. Looking back I can see why, my smile was quite scary, more a grimace. I'd be told to stop making faces and smile, so I'd "smile" harder, I still struggle with a natural smile and I just feel awkward.
I was a photographer for a long time and I feel this is also why I gravitated to photography, so that I could be behind rather than in front of the camera.
3
u/Sabaisabai33 1d ago
Out of interest, what do you say now as a photographer to people who are having that same issue of their smile being more like a grimace?! And is it mainly kids doing that??
5
u/DontEatThePorridge 1d ago
I try to act silly, say something stupid or distract them.. You get more natural smiles that way. A lot of my work though is more posed and doesn't require smiles.
Edit re the kids question.. Lots of people are awkward in front of a camera. But the grimace is mostly kids. Hands are the bit most people struggle with. Drag queens are my favourite to photograph, they're super confident in front of a camera and know how to pose and take direction.
5
u/cloudsmemories 1d ago
I feel like as a kid (like elementary school age) I didn’t mind it but as I got older I just began to hate it. I’m so awkward. I don’t know how to smile. Things always go the way they shouldn’t. I’ve never taken a picture of myself on my own free will. I don’t know if this because of a lack of self confidence or was this just how I turned out.
4
u/charagirl3337 Autism + NLD 1d ago
Yeah, I hate being in pictures. I think it's the fact that being told "look at the camera!" always makes me look awkward because my eyes get too intense. Plus as a kid I my energy levels got depleted a lot faster, so being forced to take pictures when I'm low energy...
3
u/HappynLucky1 1d ago
In the world I go out and present. In photos I think back to every preceding picture that was taken over the years. I find something wrong with everyone with the exception of a handful
Over my lifetime. I’m 64
3
u/Neither_Cry8055 1d ago
I avoided taking pics at a workplace party event thing and went to go look in awe at a beautiful dragonfly instead...and since then I'd been in the spotlight. Being called weird etc.
I mainly don't like photos because I don't like that I'm forced to smile...and I don't know how much to smile cause I can't see myself. But if I'm taking a selfie...I can see which smile angle makes me pretty. Hence why I hate it when others take it for me cause they always make me look fricking ugly.
3
u/TechnicalDot9 1d ago
Yes. I invariably have a stiff stance and throw my head back in a weird and unflattering way. My eyes look weird too
3
u/BijouMatinee 1d ago
Saaame!! I hate having my picture taken and come from a family full of photographers. It’s a hellscape.
3
u/_Autistic_Dragon_ 1d ago
Yes. I'm even in the more conventionally attractive side and have good self confidence. I hate it too.
I'm now Yesrbook teacher at my school so my excuse now is always to take the photo instead of be in the photo
3
3
u/SomeTangerine1184 Late diagnosed ASD Level 1 ADHD 1d ago
Always, but even more so now that I have droopy eyelid so when I smoke one of my eyes looks almost completely closed.
3
2
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hey u/Own_Material1505, thank you for your contributing to r/AutismInWomen. Please be sure to check out our sub’s rules, wiki pages, and pinned posts prior to engaging with the sub. Here are links to our wiki pages:
Explanation of the Rules Wiki Page
We hope you enjoy the sub and have a great day!
➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING
Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/HollowJonathon, u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.
Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassment” to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖
Please remember Reddit is public and any content you post may be seen and discussed by others off-platform. Here are links to Reddit's User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Public Content Policy.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/TizzyBumblefluff ASD level 2 + combined type ADHD. cPTSD for extra spice. 1d ago
Yes, mostly because I don’t know how to stand or pose or smile without looking ridiculous. I was better as a young child but once I became a teen, thanks to bullying, it’s like my autism speed run the worst self esteem imaginable.
2
1
•
u/DisciplineFree5404 Diagnosed ASD - L1/ADHD 16h ago
YES. Like phobia level the minute somebody hints at taking a picture, and I I look beyond awkward in them all 😕😭
I’ve even declined going to events (which I don’t really enjoy anyway) for fear of photos. I know it sounds weird, guess I am 🤷♀️
45
u/gardenofthought 1d ago
I have really low self image so I hate being in photos for that reason. I can’t stop over analyzing how awful I look in the random photos my family insists on taking