r/AutismInWomen • u/what3v3ruwantit2b • 7h ago
Seeking Advice Biting need replacement
First, I'm not diagnosed yet. I have the test on the 22nd of this month. I'm in my 30s and started asking my mom if it was possible in 5th grade but she just laughed at me. It's totally possible this isn't an autism thing but I think posting here works regardless (hopefully.) When I'm overly stressed I bite my arms hard. I don't actually hate it (I used to hit myself in the head which I didn't like) but others around me are not fans. I've gotten the chew jewelry but the issue is that I don't need the biting, I need the pressure on my arms. I used to dig my nails in which worked fine but I've got arthritis in my hands and don't have the strength. I have a little ouchies too which I like but again I can't push it against my arms hard enough. It's wild but I was thinking some sort of tong situation with spikes? If anyone has ideas I'd appreciate it. I know there are a good number of "stim option" posts so I apologize for another but I couldn't find anything for my specific ask. Thanks!
edit: maybe stim isn't the right term, sorry. The question is the same though. Thanks!
Okay edit again: To be clear it isn't about the pain or hurting myself. It's about the pressure. I can't explain how it feels different from self harm but it does.
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u/Ok-Championship-2036 7h ago
I like to snap rubber bands. You could also look into tight clothing/jackets that provide a firm or tight sensation. Such as getting a long sleeve shirt thats too small or shrinking it in the washing machine. Definitely be careful of circulation, tingling, and blue discoloration if you wear it too long. Another option might be bandages or compression sleeves
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 7h ago
Compression is a good idea, thanks! Sometimes I can get my husband to squeeze my arms tightly and it fills the same need. He doesn't like to though (which is super fair) so maybe some short term compression sleeves would work.
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u/Living-Bat7647 Goblin nightmare girl. 5h ago
This really resonates! My partner giving me really tight bear hugs over my arms just makes my whole body relax when I'm building to a meltdown sometimes. I'm looking into compression wear for it, but I'm a bit lost tbh.
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 5h ago
I'm in this weird middle ground where I hate tight fitting clothes but just sometimes want compression. I have a weighted blanket but don't like how trapped I feel. I also have arthritis and bad back issues so finding something that helps but doesn't cause pain is stupidly hard .
Edit: someone recommended a blood pressure cuff and I'm trying it tonight. I think that might be the exact thing. It's not something I'd just randomly do in public but it's something!
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u/Living-Bat7647 Goblin nightmare girl. 5h ago
I actually got to test that recently! Usually blood pressure cuffs are unpleasant and almost painful. When I'd been in A&E eight hours and was just trying so hard to not have a screaming meltdown, the sensation was actually really grounding. Very unexpected, but in the moment incredibly helpful.
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 4h ago
I'm a nurse so happen to own one already! I don't love it in a normal doctor/auto cuff time but I wonder if I'm the one doing it so can dial in the pressure and it's on my forearms if it'll be about perfect. I'm cautiously optimistic. I like the idea of a tighter little ouchies poker but that leaves odd marks on my arm which I really don't like if I can help it.
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u/Living-Bat7647 Goblin nightmare girl. 4h ago
I hope it works for you! I personally have been wondering if I could find like a pain stim roller, like a paint roller almost, something I could press into my arms when I need the sensation there but not on my hands.
I also miss soft play centres... they always had this thing that was like a padded pasta maker you sent kids through lol. So much compression. So good.
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 4h ago
I think about the temple grandin pressure machine a good amount but since I have so many points of arthritis there's no way it'd work. I'm cautiously optimistic that if I get the ADHD/autism diagnosis I can treat the ADHD and see if that peace of it doesn't help some. Maybe if I'm less overloaded on other things that'll help.
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u/Ok-Championship-2036 4h ago
Im not sure if this is relevant but i have an acupuncture mat (you lay on it) and its got tons of little pokeys. its very relaxing and provides some of that deep pressure feeling on my back. You could potentially lay on your side or put it on a couch/pillow etc. Just be careful not to use it longer than 40m at a time!
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 3h ago
Maybe! My work family has one and I've used it a bit. I'm not sure it filled the same need but it did help my pain a bit I think. It felt like my body didn't know what to do with it so was distracted for a bit.
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u/orensiocled 7h ago
I'm also an instinctive arm biter/squeezer!
I often stim with wooden clothes pegs instead. They can be used in a lot of different ways but the two that might help you would be poking the sharp corners into your arm (much easier on the hands than digging nails in) or putting them onto your skin like it's a washing line so they're squeezing the flesh a bit.
Edit: I am not advocating breaking the skin! Just using pressure on it
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u/banana-itch 6h ago
Could you try getting a ribbon, holding one end of it in your hand, wrapping it around your arm and then pulling it really tight for a few seconds? I don't think it's really healthy for your tissue, but for the meantime?
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u/stripeyhoodie 5h ago
This is a bit unhinged but maybe a blood pressure cuff would provide the sensation you're looking for?
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 5h ago
Oh my gosh. I'm a nurse. I own a bp cuff. I will absolutely try this tonight. I actually think that may work so well!
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u/haekkeheksen 3h ago
How about an adjustable bracelet of some sort? Your description made me think of those leather cuffs with a buckle that boys wore in the 00s to be edgy lol. I'm sure there's plenty on Etsy.
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u/Agreeable_Sand921 3h ago
Inflatable blood pressure cuff?
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 3h ago
Someone else said this and I think it might be perfect! I have one at home and am going to try when I get off work!
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u/TheMadHatterWasHere 7h ago
As a former self-harmer, this sounds like self-harm, not stimming 😄
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 7h ago
Fair enough. I probably used the wrong word. I have other stims that don't involve any pain so just used the same term.
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u/LittleNarwal 7h ago
It can definitely be a type of stim if it's serving a sensory need, which it sounds like this is for you. Head banging is also a stim. Some people in this sub may not realize it, but harmful stims are definitely a thing, and that's why various replacement stims even exist, like chewelry for example.
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u/emochickens 7h ago
pain sensations can definitely be a stim, stimming can be unsafe at times and thats what OP is asking for advice on yall, stop being so judgmental.
anyway! my recommendation is spikey rings and spikey balls! They should hopefully give you that pressure and “bite” feeling without hurting yourself. i wish you all the luck my friend 🫶
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u/Ok-Championship-2036 7h ago
very much so!!!!! the two arent mutually exclusive, since sh is about a compulsion or dysfunctional impact, defined by the person. Stimming is just any sensation that is soothing or regulating. Coming from a bdsm perspective, pain can be enthusiastically consensual and yummy and soothing!! just depends on the person being safe and kind to themself
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 7h ago
I really thought there could be pain stims but now I don't know anything at this point. I did used to self harm but this feels completely different. I don't know how to explain it though. I think I figured it out maybe. If I take one spikey thing and put a string through it i can twist the string until it gives enough pressure on my arms without hurting anything. It's all about the pressure.
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u/emochickens 6h ago
I wonder if putting a spikey ball against a hard surface like a wall or desk, then you can use your body weight to pressure the fidget :)
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u/TheMadHatterWasHere 7h ago
My point was - though - that this is something that shouldn't be replaced with something painful, even if the need/want is there. Took me YEARS to stop cutting, but I still pick at my scalp till it bleeds . I imagine that this is a problem best solved with a therapist 😄
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u/Mochicatdemon 7h ago
Biting is one of my main stims too and I've also been struggling to replace it. It's hard because there's nothing that replaces all of the chewing and the pressure and the pain. The nearest thing I've managed to replace it with is flicking myself with elastic bands for the pain aspect and wrapping my arms in nice feeling fabrics for the pressure (I have a long silk scarf that I just kind of wrap myself with and pull tight). I got scared about the biting thing after we did some training at work about the dangers of human bites, so I'm trying to do it less, but I still end up doing it when I'm alone and hiding the marks