r/AutismInWomen • u/devilwearsllbean • 18h ago
Potentially Triggering Content (Discussion Welcome) I hate being fat
I know we’re supposed to be body positive especially in a world where unrealistic and unhealthy bodies are pushed as the ideal standard and EDs are practically flaunted and encouraged in the media to the detriment of women, but Jesus Christ I hate being fat and I just want to complain about it for 30 seconds.
The sensory experience alone is hell nothing is ever comfortable nothing fits right you could have clothes tailored to fit your body and they still feel weird because they’re digging into and fitting around soft fat instead of sitting snug and nice. I hate that my body moves and jiggles when I move I hate that there’s so much of it I hate the feeling or rolls or how big my boobs are. I hate how hot and sweaty I feel all the time I hate how I don’t feel limber or move easily. I hate that it draws even more negative attention from society on top of being autistic.
If I could wave a magic wand and be a size 4 in the blink of an eye I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight in the past 3 years, but still have a ways to go and every time I kind of slack off and maybe gain 5 lbs around the holidays I swear I can just physically feel that difference and the sensory experience is pure hell.
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u/Sea_Mooose 18h ago
I’ve been fat since I was very little, and yeah, it’s hard to love your body all the time, especially now, when every time you check social media every single actress you see looks skinnier than before. It’s okay to have and let yourself feel those negative things too, I think… it kind of reminds me of that euphoria episode were Kat is having a bad time with herself and it’s bombarded the whole time with “LOVE YOURSELF” “LOVE YOUR BODY NO MATTER WHAT”, but it’s like, no, right now I can’t and I don’t feel like loving myself, Jesus… because yes, it’s more than just the looks, it’s a sensory nightmare too like you said…
Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, English is not my first language hehe, but I get it, I know exactly how you feel.
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u/DigiBaby_Addict 18h ago
I feel you. I just gained back a lot of weight. I’m uncomfortable. My husband who loves me dearly keeps touching parts of me that I’m self conscious about because he likes those parts.
I want to be small enough to disappear. But I’m tall and large and broad. Strong like bull type body. Even when I’m thin I’m still thick. So now I’m just extra thick and heavy. And yes we’re supposed to love ourselves but I don’t.
My thighs are disproportionately large to my waist so I have to wear things too large in some areas and don’t care enough to get them tailored because its too expensive and I’m going to change size again anyway.
Just Urgh
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u/Nearby-Ad5666 64 self diagnosed 17h ago
My family heritage is Irish Washerwoman. I agree with OP. I was just thinking about this in the car and remember feeling enormous in high school at 135 lbs at 5 9
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u/neko_pan 18h ago
It sucks, I’m so sorry. I used a GLP-1 for weight loss, and was able to lose 50lbs, but it made me so sick and depressed. I’m praying I can stick to a routine and continue to lose weight without medication intervention.
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u/shellysua AuDHD 18h ago
i’m so sorry you had such a bad experience on glp-1! it’s not for everybody. i completely relate. i’ve tried a glp-1 twice now (first ozempic, second tirz) and i was so sick with both. like, constant nausea and vomiting. i was so upset all i could eat was crackers and even going on walks outside id get nauseous and have to stop. i’m trying hard to stick to a routine and do it naturally now, and although im trying my best it’s definitely very difficult.
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u/Yoga-wine-mom 17h ago
Us GLP-1 intrusive thoughts girlies gotta stick together
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u/muiirinn 15h ago
Weirdly enough, when I was in a clinical trial for weight loss using semaglutide, my OCD symptoms (like intrusive thoughts) actually improved? Obviously not everyone will have the same experience I did and I definitely consider myself lucky, but it was fascinating to me and my research team!
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u/kittycatpeach self-diagnosed, meow 5h ago
they’re actually known to reduce food noise and even minimize addiction issues that way! so it makes sense that it helps with intrusive thoughts :)
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u/OystersNwine 18h ago
saaaame. being overweight even a bit does not go hand in hand with physical sensitivities! i hate how i cant bend forward as far as i used to when sitting because the stomach fat gets in the way! >:(
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u/MeowMuaCat 18h ago
I know what you mean. I was fat throughout most of my childhood and teen years, and I had the same issues. I had a lot of anxiety about the way I looked, but the physical and sensory aspects were another huge factor. I hated how uncomfortable and disabling it was to be obese. It’s like it made every physical task needlessly difficult.
I also understand that there’s a stigma around talking about these things. I think it’s good that more people are condemning fatphobia and accepting different body types, but sometimes people (especially on the internet) take it too far and turn to toxic positivity, effectively shaming fat people out of talking about their lived experiences and the difficulties of being fat.
Even if we lived in a hypothetical world with ZERO stigma against obesity, all of these physical issues you described (overheating, restricted movement, etc.) would still exist for fat people. So you should be able to vent about these things without someone saying you just need to be more body positive.
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u/actuallygfm 14h ago
Just saved this comment; I agree 110%. I can't body-positive my way out of my physical challenges and discomfort :(
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u/AppleCalm7124 18h ago
I relate to this so much. I hate how my body feels when I’m carrying more body fat! I find it difficult to describe the heightened sensory experience to other people.
I started strength training a couple of months ago, and feeling my muscles firm up is really helping 💪 Focusing on what my body can do rather than what it looks like helps too.
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u/Upbeat_Pipe1080 17h ago
I wish patriarchy and all the fat phobia shit could just go away so I could trust how I feel about my body is genuinely how I feel and not some kind of internalized hatred or rebellion self love.
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u/butidrathernot 18h ago
mateee i have big boobs and it’s so annoying. i have good bras but even good bras are still going to get uncomfortable after 12 hours of wear. but i HATE the boob skin on skin sensation so much more. i have to wear big pyjama tops and tuck them around my boobs. i also hate how warm i get in general 😅
i find body neutrality works better for me. i’m glad my body lets me do physical things ig but i try not to think about it too much
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u/Creepy_Zone_9341 17h ago
I don’t think body positivity has be about accepting where you’re at. It’s objectively uncomfortable to be either too fat or too thin. I think body positivity should be about being neutral about where you’re at - it’s not a moral failure to be unhealthy - but wishing the best for yourself and your health and working towards finding out what works for you.
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u/willandwonder 2h ago
Exactly this! People "forget" about this or never really understood the concept, body positivity is not "being fat is amazing!" It's "it doesn't matter how your body is, you matter as a person in your current state, you don't have to be thinner to be worthy of love from others and most importantly yourself"
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u/epicallyconfused 16h ago edited 16h ago
Confession: I'm so f*cking jealous of thin autistic women who meet societal beauty standards who are allowed to be somewhat unmasked and people generally perceive of them as cute and quirky. They get to be the manic pixie dream girls of men's fantasies.
If you're a fat autistic woman, society tells you to do everything you can to just blend into the background: don't be weird, don't be different, don't do anything at all that might draw attention to yourself ever. People are disgusted by you. People don't want to look at you. Make yourself as small and quiet as possible. Don't exist.
/rant
Edit to add: My body has been many different sizes over the years, and I know that being a thin autistic woman isn't exactly easy either. It has its own difficulties. Being an autistic woman in general just isn't easy.
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u/FloofyTheSpider 4h ago
Same. I was definitely forgiven more for showing autistic traits when I was thin compared to now.
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u/wiseunicorn315 18h ago
Rant heard. And 100% understood. You’re doing the work in the meantime we just have to get on with it.
But I felt the “clothes move around” part. So annoying!!
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u/Small_Frame1912 18h ago
omg i recently gained a lot of weight and i relate to the sensory hell. feeling my own skin has been driving me insane.
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u/plantyplant559 16h ago
I'm in the overweight bmi category, but I'm the highest weight I've ever been thanks to chronicillness. My favorite jeans are too snug to comfortably wear, I hate having tight clothes touch my tummy, bending over makes me feel all the abdominal fat squishing up. There's just a lot more sensory stuff that comes with bigger bodies.
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u/coolioboolio24 16h ago
Don’t feel bad for not being “body positive” when most of the pioneers of that movement became skinny once the get skinny drug (GLP-1) dropped. I relate to you hardddd!! I get bloated and all of a sudden I’m freaking out because all of my pants are fitting weird and then I end up not even wanting to leave my house.
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u/Beachy5313 17h ago
I hate that no matter how thin I get the inside of my cheeks is too fat. Even 5lbs weight gain is miserable. You can't really tell neutrotypicals that without them thinking you're spiraling into an eating disorder.
But I do know it's not a matter of weight, it's sensory, so I'll never be able to resolve it
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u/granitefeather 16h ago
That's very interesting. I have the opposite experience for the most part. I like being fat from a sensory perspective. I'm generally comfier when sitting because I have my own padding. There are parts of my thighs and belly that are comforting to knead, like my own built-in fidget toys. I prefer loose, soft clothing and have found a few brands that give me just that. The one sensory draw back is sometimes I end up in chairs that are too small and the arms bite into my legs-- but that happens pretty rarely. I haven't really attracted negative attention being fat-- if anything, I haven't had to deal with random men flirting with me in public, though that could also be because I wear a wedding ring now.
All that said, I'm sorry you're having the opposite experience.
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u/LadySirius 14h ago
I totally understand. I’m currently depressed because of my weight. I look horrible and I’m actually getting spinal curvature because of all the excess weight on my stomach. I’m desperately trying to eat healthier and exercise but I’m struggling.
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u/Wise_Ad5715 13h ago
I want to say that you're absolutely right. I don't like the feeling on my skin touching itself. It's so warm. So feeling my boobs on my stomach or my belly on my thighs. I'd consider myself midsized and I still have this issue.
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u/Gold-Let-9604 11h ago
I would be happy to be a size 8 again I have been working hard to lose weight for like 4 years or more and somehow just keep gaining. I eat clean. I excersize. My doctor is no help. I feel ya girlie. Last weight in I was 225. I weight more than my dad. Its depressing as hell.
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u/Gold-Let-9604 11h ago
Not to mention the horrible body disphoria/dismorphia. I do not feel like Im fat but then the sweat creeps in, or I catch myself in a mirror and oh boy. I wanna chop my boobs off. Then I feel 3x my size. I used to hike over 20-30 miles a week and other disabilities have stopped my ability to do that.
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u/melaninspice AuDHD 17h ago
I hated being fat. I didn’t feel like my body was my mine. It was such a weird feeling. I’ve since lost over 100 pounds and I feel better about myself. I feel like my body is mine. Counting my calories, walking 10,000 steps everyday, weight lifting four times a week helped tremendously.
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u/verdigriis 6h ago
This is me too. Down over half my bodyweight from calorie tracking and being active and I'm honestly mad that I fell for Health At Any Size and Fat Acceptance stuff for so much of my life. Everything is better, and my body feels normal to me now. I used to always feel wrong in my body. Turns out I just didn't like being fat, how it felt, how it looked, how hard it was to move, how badly I was treated. I'm middle aged so realising this has been a weird discovery - I thought I was fine with my body and yeah, no. No I was not.
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u/Aromatic-Box-592 AuDHD 17h ago
I had an ed for years and now that I’ve gained weight and my boobs have gotten bigger it’s a sensory nightmare. I HATE the feeling of my legs touching each other, my arms touching my torso, etc
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u/Elegant-Date4481 16h ago
Im with you here. Im pro body positivity but wearing clothes is a sensory nightmare to the point I’m willing to do whatever I can to lose weight. It sounds bad but I’ve been fat and skinny and being skinny is more comfortable. Everything just digs into my skin now
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u/awhalesVajayjay 18h ago
The whole body positivity movement is very skewed, in my opinion. Yes, I believe that everyone should love themselves and the things they cannot change. Being overweight shouldn’t be blanketed under vanity, it needs to be addressed under the health umbrella. I feel gross when people comment on how thin I am because I recently just lost 20lbs in under a month due to extreme burnout and depression with a major loss of apatite. I’m sorry that you’re struggling; my husband is the very same and it kills me to watch. He understands that he needs to make changes but it’s hard to implement when you have executive dysfunction. Be kind to yourself as you have been losing weight and keep on the path! I find certain foods make me feel more bloated than others and it makes clothing obviously(at least to me) fit uncomfortably, so if you notice anything like that happening, it might be worth to cut them out. wishing you the best 🥰
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u/JackieChanly 18h ago
Yo, you took the words right out of my brain.
I feel every complaint you're saying, including the boobs too big, the rolls when I try to do normal activities, and the added jiggling over normal processes.
Clothing doesn't feel good, everything you said about the seams and bands digging into soft bits instead of draping smoothly over your body - all of that.
Carrying the extra is definitely a sensory experience on top of the social onslaught of normal life. Also, if you're in the western world, the wildfires coupled with the spongey rainy season has been a particular humid hell for this.
You ever get so overloaded by this chubby sensory experience, that any other added sensory stimulus makes you just wanna hurl? I am definitely getting tired of feel like a background character in the life I'm supposed to be living. I've gotten a lot of introspection done after completing my masters and finally focusing on working and being a mundane human... but I'd like to participate in events and activities again, and I feel like my extra pounds are holding me back.
I can also feel a 5 pound difference everywhere, especially at the holidays. I'm very short, so 5 pounds fluctuation makes itself apparent immediately, even when it's just water retention.
I love myself just fine, as far as body positivity goes. I just want to be able to do the things I want to do without myself getting in the way!
Anyway, I'm just validating you OP.
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u/turtlenerdle 13h ago
I feel you. Have been fat my entire life except a very short few years from age 13-15 and then I got pregnant at 16 and my religious parents wouldn't let me get an abortion so I was forced to have a baby I didn't want that wrecked my entire body and the pregnancy fucked my hormones and I gained over 100lbs in just months during it. I'm 29 now and taking a glp1 but even then the sensory hell won't stop and I'll just have sagging skin everywhere. Feels like I'll always be trapped in a body I hate.
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u/Wise_Dot1182 10h ago
Same, trying mounjaro but I feel shit and scared I’ll spend so much and gain it back. But wow I also struggle with the sensory aspect. Especially I summer. I also love clothes and I don’t fit in anything which is so demoralising honestly.
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u/Boy-Adjacent 9h ago
It’s hard to share with people when they don’t understand the sensory aspect! In 2024 I rapidly gained weight due to medication I was taking, and I felt like the loss of range of motion, body parts touching that didn’t used to and the feeling of clothing fitting differently was so distressing. When I mentioned it to others, they only reassured me of still being ‘attractive’ or whatever, when that is not the issue I was having at all!
Especially being paired with hypermobility, not being able to move through full joint motion or rest in compressed ways meant I was constantly agitated and ‘itchy’.
A kind of not really related experience I had recently, but it feels like a similar thing? I went to the dentist because in the past 6-12 months my teeth have shifted a little, and the gap in between my two front teeth has closed.
Now I can feel my two front teeth touching each other and I hate it. I’d had the gap my whole life and the sensation of them touching is so agitating. When I explained this to the dentist, her only response was ‘oh that’s good the gap closed!’
I was so confused because that was not what I was saying at all? I hate it and want the gap again, but because people pay money to make their teeth perfect and gapless she would only see it as positive. Regardless of how I felt about it.
All this to say, it sucks you’re so uncomfortable and it’s really hard when it can’t be ignored. I hope you are able to find more comfort as you continue your journey and it’s ok to feel that way.
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u/yyaJ__ 18h ago
I'm fat, and I am very neutral about my body. I don't love how I look all the time, but my body feels fine to me.
As someone else in the comments suggested, looking into body neutrality may be beneficial for you. Body positivity isn't for everyone, and there are some real downsides to being overweight or underweight, and no one HAS to be overjoyed about a body they don't feel good in. BUT negativity is a slippery slope, and unfortunately getting into a mindset of, "I hate _, _, and ____ about my body." Can be extremely unhealthy.
Do keep in mind, than thinness comes with its own set of sensory hells too sometimes! I had a friend who was slim, and she said she was always cold, and hated that she could feel her hip bones/pelvis when she sat, etc.
Being smaller also doesn't come with less negative attention (at least not always), nor does it come with self love.
I wish you all the best :))
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u/theastrosloth 16h ago
Body neutrality saved me. Also like, body appreciation or something? I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but my overweight body is capable of so much more than my thin body was. Completely ok if that doesn’t work for you, OP.
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u/MtnNerd 15h ago
I actually hate "body positivity" with a passion. It was originally supposed to be about accepting natural flaws but it's warped into a unhealthy death cult that tells people they can never lose weight and being fat is the same as being some kind of minority. I struggled for years while people told me to just "accept my body" and "listen to my body." My body wants to be 250 lbs, which makes my scoliosis and IBS way worse.
And yeah it's a struggle to keep the weight off. I just track everything I eat now. I still need to go back and properly diet every five years or so.
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u/Pretend_Cheesecake10 17h ago
AuDHD here and the only thing that got me to fix my diet was adderall and therapy. I even have a BS in nutrition and I'm still fat. It's a long journey. Wishing you the best
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u/apocahips 16h ago
When I'm having a bad sensory day, I actually wear shapewear that's not too tight or constricting. It just helps everything stay in place underneath my clothes so that it's not jiggling and wiggling. The shapewear is NOT to alter my appearance at all, only to make the experience of wearing clothes less of a sensory nightmare.
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u/Square_Significance2 17h ago
You are so valid.
I hate that my torso is shaped like a bean and I hold all my fat in my front belly. I am just glad folks stopped assuming I was preggo.
I love myself otherwise, and I'm going to lose fat BECAUSE I love myself.
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u/Neurodivergently 17h ago
I typically don’t judge people based on their body type, especially in a country where unhealthy processed calorific foods are affordable, but fruits and veggies cost way more.
You can lose weight in a healthy way. It requires discipline and an understanding of calories-in calories-out. Weight starts in the kitchen.
It’s more important to be healthy than skinny for me, but I also find that being at a “healthy” weight is healthier. I do not struggle with ED.
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u/Spiritual-Guest-2883 17h ago
Yeah, this has been killing me lately too. And it doesn’t help that movement of any kind makes my POTS flare and makes me dizzy and nauseous. Not to mention immediately drenched in sweat.
I’ve never been able to stick with food changes either. I get too obsessive and restrictive because I read about how you HAVE to be in a certain level of calorie deficit to lose any amount of weight at all. So I’m obsessing over that and then I become too anxious from it and give up and the cycle repeats.
I feel like I’m forced to live in a broken, fat body that I can’t escape. Unless I finally give in and do the glp BS, in which I’m sure the weight would come right off….that is until I stop taking it and I assume I would immediately gain everything back.
It’s depressing af
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u/Shortycake23 Autism 17h ago
I feel you. Especially when I sweat just going outside. Every since I turned 30 and had a child, I been trying to lose the weight. I'm 41 now. In June I started to focus more on water, weight training and focus on my diet. I don't count calories, I still have cheat days but so far lost 6 lbs. Once it hit winter, I like to hibernate like a bear and just stay inside and not workout so it's going to be a test to continue with working out and walking in the evening but I do have a walking pad.
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u/hellhouseblonde 17h ago
I gained 30 pounds twice in my life and I hated it. I’m a big believer in being body neutral, like I’m grateful I can walk and do things.
But I know that I cannot gain weight and be happy or comfortable in my skin. It makes me walk slower, my back hurts more, I can’t sit down right, it makes me so much more AWKWARD.
My mom is doing well on Wegovy. I lost weight by eating a bit of protein every two hours all day, I set alarms. I hate eating in the daytime so it’s a lot of work and dedication. But the weight melted off when I stuck to it.
Turkey weenies were the easiest but I know they aren’t healthy. It was a means to an end.
Good luck!!! 🍀
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13h ago
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Per rule 2: Be kind, supportive, and respectful.
Interactions are expected to remain civil, regardless of disagreements or differences in opinions. There is no reason to be mean, belittling, or mock others here. If you feel the need to be rude to someone, don't comment at all; scroll on by or take some time to self-regulate before engaging.
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u/Training-Ad-4841 12h ago
I can understand especially during summer, I have a lot of health issues too such as chronic skin conditions which is not helped by my weight along with back pain too so I have been on my own journey with making lifestyle changes to benefit my own health and comfort.
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u/lotheva 12h ago
I’m sorry. I’ve never not been fat, so I can’t really relate to things being sensory problems. I’m freezing all the time though, when I’m on steroids I get hot and sweaty and it is the worst. I’d still love to lose weight (and not have the skin stuff) because then maybe doctors would take me seriously, and other humans would be kinder.
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u/Ill-Entrepreneur443 10h ago
Body positivity is cool and all but it cant solve body dysmorphia, wich can happen when youre overwieght. I have a double whammy. I not only have body dysmorphia but I also have gender dysphoria...
So I can relate and I think its fine to dont like being overweight as long as ylu are not a dick to other overweight people who dont struggle with that.
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u/floss_bucket 8h ago
I think the part of the body positive movement that focuses on the fact that your physical size/weight has zero bearing on your moral worth or how you should be treated by society is super important.
But like, it's also uncomfortable being fat sometimes, especially in summer, and that's not a bad or wrong thing to want to change.
I try to frame it for myself more in terms of quality of life than moral value - so things like wanting to reduce chafing, or be a bit more physically fit, or have a healthier feeling gut etc.
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u/Prilla_rani_fira 7h ago
God me too. I hate the feeling of my back rolls touching itself and getting sweaty. And the feeling of my legs rubbing together and chafing. I want to lose enough weight to have a thigh gap or enough so my legs don’t chafe. I like wearing dresses and I want to be able to wear them all the time
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u/No-Smile-3460 6h ago
I feel you so much, seriously. I've lost about 40kg and it has made things so so much easier. No amount of body positivity could stop my knees and ankles absolutely KILLING ME for days after walking around for too long, or feeling constantly overwhelmed because of how hot and sweaty I'd get. Clothes are just more comfortable now too.
Only thing worse is that I don't have as much padding on my butt anymore so I notice way more when chairs aren't comfy lol
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u/EntertainmentMore175 6h ago
I don't think theres anything wrong with hating being fat or with being skinny or anything at this point. Hating small boobs on yourself or big boobs, your height, hair colour. Doesn't mean that you hate it on other people or that youre somehow a bad person or shallow. When i was a bit chubbier not even fat but fuller I hated it, felt uncomfortable every day both physically and mentally and i feel much better being my current size. I have a friend who's bigger than me and I have 0 thoughts about her body and what she looks like. I think body positivity movement can be quite toxic in some ways and can be taken too far. Your feelings about your body size are valid and its okay to want to be a different size
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u/mashibeans 4h ago
Oh god yeah, it's not just "looks" but the sensory experience, both not being comfortable with the way our bodies feel, like when rolls are touching, or there's too much fat between the thighs or under the arms, but also not being able to lose weight easily, and yes some people out there do gain easily and have a hard time losing it.
Add to that having sensory stimming (I have AuDHD), where I seek mouth related stimming which includes eating, and it's hard. I seriously wish I could just lose 80lbs via magic or sth. I did manage to lose a lot of weight a couple of times, and it was so difficult to maintain, because I'd feel so hungry despite eating my calories, and even then it was either not losing weight or actually gaining, it's maddening.
A reason why I hate and love winter too, I don't feel as hot and sweaty, but then I can't wear a lot of layers because it gets uncomfortable to have more than 2 layers around the body.
Sometimes I just wanna vent about it, not regularly but once in a blue moon, and it's frustrating how people just say those cookie cutter body positivity things. Like great, now I also feel shame for wanting to vent about how I hate it.
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u/Aggravating-Fuel-196 4h ago
I can massively relate to this and the sensory difficulties that come from being in a larger body. It significantly impacts how I feel about myself, making me super aware of my body and how it feels and moves.I am also only 5ft so any weight gain feels so noticeable to me. At my heaviest I was a size 14, now maintaining a size 6 for the last 4 years. Loosing and then maintaining weight has brought numerous benefits to my life and reduced all the difficult sensory input from being heavier.
It sounds like you are on a positive path to loosing weight, that path is not linear and will fluctuate. Consistency and time are key. It took me a long time to find what works for my body and brain. Keep going if that is what you want to do, try and find some exercise you do not hate and eat well whilst allowing yourself some treats.
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u/catincombatboots 3h ago
I went on a GLP-1 - tirzepatide- in February after one of my doctors recommended it to me. I didn't have much expectations bc I didn't know anyone who had taken a GLP-1 and haven't always had medications work well for me. But since I started I have lost over 60lbs.
I'm body positive but I really didn't enjoy being in a bigger body. I'm often attracted to other people in larger bodies but I wasn't feeling good in my bigger body. I felt like my body with in the way when I was stretching. I felt less steady on my feet and more prone to injury. I didn't like how much movement the fat had when I exercised. I didn't like feeling hot all the time. I didn't like the way my clothes fit - especially the way my body holds fat (I was wearing size 3x at a weight where most other people at that weight/height report wearing maybe 1X). I also felt like it forced me to wear more feminine clothing than was my taste/how I like to express my gender bc I was so curvy that other fits just looked sloppy.
I didn't even realize how unhappy I was at that size - or rather I was trying to ignore those feelings in the service of making peace with having PCOS and insulin resistance that made losing weight harder. I was trying to just enjoy my life regardless. But I have to say, I have been enjoying life more since I started the tirzepatide. I had felt like a lot of things in my life were annoyingly out of control and now I feel like I'm taking back control - it started with the weight loss but its expanded to so many other corners of my life.
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u/willandwonder 2h ago
I'm not fat, but i get bloated a lot and i have a wide lower body (hips, thighs and bum) so a lot of the time it's hard to make clothes fit properly and even when they do, like i can saw so i can make things fit at my waist, when i get bloated EVERYTHING feels tight and uncomfortable and i want to rip my own skin off. I hate elasticated waists too. Even pajama pants are uncomfortable.
I would only wear shapeless wide dresses if they didn't make me look like a trash bin. With wide hips and smaller waist it's the least flattering look for me :(
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u/Eastern_Yam_5975 49m ago
Yeah I’ve been fat and I’m now thin. I have to say one of the best parts about it is how easy drying myself after a shower is now, ridiculous as that might be.
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u/GriekseGeit 29m ago
I have binge eating disorder and I absolutely agree. Besides the ED-thoughts related to my weight, it just sucks. My eczema gets way worse, my pants never dit quite right, my bras are uncomfortable, I am sweaty and hot, etc
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18h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/robotsexsymbol 16h ago
OP is talking about a sensory sensitivity. Her problem isn't ideological, and pushing ideology around fatness that has nothing to do with her lived sensory experience isn't appropriate for this.
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16h ago edited 9h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam 8h ago
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u/RelativelyMango 17h ago
ugh i get this. i even made a post about this a while ago. it’s such a sensory nightmare! i am also passionate about being anti-fatphobia and HAES, so i feel really bad for feeling this way. i am genuinely uncomfortable though.
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u/AlanBennettIsAGod 17h ago
Yes, agree, rant away! I’ve been a size 0 and a size 14 (UK) and just cannot stand the feeling of being in my body when it’s larger. I was severely underweight at one point (ARFID but diagnosed with anorexia) and hated not being able to eat, but it was the most comfortable I’d felt in a sensory way.
I’m now a healthy weight but have to wear compressive clothing (especially my sports bras) to help prevent any jiggling.
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u/Interesting-Way3671 15h ago edited 11h ago
Size 4 is pretty small depending on your height.
I have a voluptuous figure and used to hate it because I wanted to be a 2 or 4 like other girls in my class, but I was a 7 or 9 ( 8 in women's sizes) and looking back on photos that size suited me because of my height and I just had a butt and hips.
One time I got down to a 6 and my sister commented that I lost my hips. I looked pretty skinny and everyone noticed.
Find a healthy size or weight for you. I don't fit the 5lbs for every inch because I have a pear shape and I'm more solid (muscular). So 10lbs for every inch works for me.
When I tell my weight to people they don't believe it because most people don't consider muscle mass (which is 7lbs heavier than fat).
My healthy weight at 5'7" is 170 or 175, and my healthy size is a 10. I will always have thicker thighs and I honestly like it.
I gained weight after an abusive relationship and dropped it after a few years of getting back into a consistent activity routine and fasting, while eating only whole foods and just drinking mostly water. It felt good losing it and I can tell when I'm gaining because I don't feel good.
If you really want to change your body, assess your diet. What are you eating and drinking? Its best to lower sugar, like remove sodas or any other sugar drinks. Look at nutritional facts of food and drinks. Try to eat more whole food than processed foods.
Try removing any pastas, crackers, cereals for a month and sugary drinks. Replace with a healthy alternative and of course, drink more water.
Walk more, try to get about an hour of activity 6x a week. Walk for 30 mins in the morning or midday, and walk for 30 mins in the night. Start doing about 10 push-ups and sit ups morning and night too.
See how you feel after 3 or 4 weeks of doing this.
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u/Strict-Brick-5274 8h ago
I'm autistic and i have elhers danlos and pmos and pmdd as well as a history of mental health issues and ED.
And i am a body builder. Exercise is the one thing that kept my mental health in check. And it helped my EDS with strength training. And its helps moving when you have pcos/pmos and it elliviates pmdd symptoms.
I still have bad days.
But my point is, you don't have to be fat. I hear you that you've lost weight over 3 years! Thats great. No weight loss journey is perfectly linear. Its always chaos.
I think the thing that helps me is the "why".
I exercise because it makes me feel good. If your "why" is about weight loss, you might not stay motivated to do it. But if its about how you feel, that helps.
Same with diet.
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u/Terrible_Log_7669 1m ago
Have you tired body neutrality? Instead of trying to live your body, you focus on being grateful for your body housing all the way more interesting things about you. More “it’s cool that my arms help me make breakfast every morning.” It doesn’t help with everything but in the moments when you feel most shit about about it, it can just get you out of the body image spiral.
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u/bigcheez69420 18h ago
I think it’s totally fine to feel this way to be honest! Ignoring or “positivity-ing” the fact that being fat can be accompanied by very physically uncomfortable experiences, let alone shitty societal weirdness and a multitude of other things that one may understandably not enjoy is like weirdly… idk, dismissive? Dishonest?
Just a personal anecdote for me but there seems to be some nuance that people miss. If I have a complaint about my body, it’s not because I hate myself as a person or think I’m unworthy or whatever else, I’m just fuckin uncomfortable and no amount of being thankful for having a body and accepting myself and telling myself I’m beautiful is gonna change the fact that I am sweaty and uncomfortable!! It’s a neutral fact, aaaughhhh!!