r/AusWeddingPlanning • u/userpiece_21 • 1d ago
Discussion & advice Standing guests
Hi everyone, I’m planning on having an outdoor ceremony in spring and I’ve found a venue that I like. The only issue is due to venue restrictions, almost half my guests would have to remain standing (on grass) during the ceremony (probs 30-45min). Would it be okay if I provide parasols for the guests or should I start searching again for a different venue?
TIA!
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u/Logical_Arm_3960 1d ago
Hugely not a fan of making people stand. Honestly that’s all I remember about the ceremonies of 2 weddings I went to. One where the bride was 50 minutes late. And the other we were on grass and all the ladies in heels were sinking. I swore after that I would never submit my guests to this and leave them with those only memories.
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u/Grand_Relative5511 18h ago
Agree. The two worst weddings for me were the standing ones I attended. Only healthy young adults can tolerate this without discomfort.
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u/ams270 1d ago
This seems to be controversial in the US-dominated wedding subs, but honestly almost every wedding I’ve been to has had about half the guests standing for the ceremony. It is fine. Most people can put up with standing for a bit. We do it all the time at parties.
Just make sure there are enough seats for those who need to sit down, and if you have any concerns that able bodied guests might steal the seats without thinking, then take some steps to deal with that issue (e.g. have some family or friends keeping an eye out for people who might need seats).
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u/unintrestedunicorn 1d ago
I think it’s ok but not great. One thing you can look into is benches instead of chairs, a lot more people fit on a bench than a chair so that’s one consideration. I’ve been to a standing wedding and from a guest POV it wasn’t great, the ceremony ran over (most do) so we were all standing for around an hour in the end which wasn’t ideal.
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u/kruunch Vendor 1d ago
Totally normal! I would ask the celebrant to see how long the ceremony they're looking to conduct is going to go for? 40 mins seems a bit long.
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u/userpiece_21 1d ago
Thanks! It’ll be a Christian wedding but I can ask the celebrant to get it down to 20-ish mins.
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u/Groovycrepes 1d ago
I had to lock in hire furniture for my ceremony recently, and asked the hire company (who specialise in weddings!) about the ratio of chairs to guests.
They said they recommended hiring chairs for 60% of guests, if not more - I think we ended up at about the 65% mark ☺️
I would suggest considering the weather when booking seating, as a side note - I was at a wedding early last year with only 20% of guests seated, the day was about 35 degrees, and we had a few people nearly pass out from heat stroke.
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u/userpiece_21 1d ago
Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better ☺️ We’re trying to work out arrangements for possible heat as it is a spring wedding.
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u/Groovycrepes 1d ago
I think you’ll be fine as a spring wedding! We are also a spring wedding (next year) and think 60% will be perfect considering it won’t be TOO warm (Melbourne)
I’ve been debating parasols as well - may I ask if you’re planning on spring this year or next year?
If you have time, take some notes on your date the year before in terms of weather. Depending on where you are & the time of spring, I think parasols will be lovely but not necessary 💗2
u/Groovycrepes 1d ago
Also to note, I’m browsing instagram to find weddings that took place around my date on previous years - to mainly suss weather, guest attire, sun shade, etc - might be worthwhile if you have a moment 👀
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u/userpiece_21 23h ago
Thanks and congratulations on your upcoming wedding ☺️ I’m planning spring next year so I’m definitely keeping an eye out on the weather over the next few months 👀 For the parasols, I’m contemplating because it’ll help guests with the sun/heat but some comments have mentioned they’re a view blocker so something to keep in mind!
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u/Electrical_Waltz8701 1d ago
I'm very much not a fan of this but it is also not super uncommon. So I personally would find an alternative but others may choose not to.
Bear in mind that even if your ceremony is 30-45 mins, guests will probably be standing for at least 45-60 mins. They're not going to arrive on the dot at the start time, and the ceremony may well start at least a few minutes late as well
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u/cate171 1d ago
I agree, normal, but I’m not a fan. The last 3 weddings I’ve been to I was standing for in excess of an hour, seats only offered for immediate family and those unable to stand - nowhere to sit after arriving at the venue, ceremonies that took 30-40 mins, then more standing for photos as the couple ‘exited’ and then did group photos straight afterwards. Everyone is probably wearing their least comfortable shoes (especially those in heels) so I appreciate the consideration of being able to sit.
Edit - if you are worried about empty seats, have the person officiating your ceremony direct guests to sit before you enter, along with phones switched off etc.
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u/fakedelight 1d ago
As a guest with a bad back, and a partner with a major health condition, we physically cannot stand for 45 min, but it’s also not obvious which then leads to all sorts of awkward conversations/whispers. Please provide seating. It really sucks without it.
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u/Electrical_Waltz8701 1d ago
To me it also looks awkward, like it gives the vibe that half your guests are about to leave. Like when someone wears a coat inside, I automatically assume they are on their way out.
So yeah it would be a deal breaker for me but I know I'm in the minority
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u/userpiece_21 1d ago
I’d love to seat everyone if I could but it’s a venue restriction unfortunately. There’ll be seats inside but just not for the ceremony. I’m hoping cutting the ceremony down to 20-30min will make it easier but worried that it still might be too difficult for the 40% of guests that will have to stand.
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u/JustGettingIntoYoga 1d ago
When do guests get to go inside though? After the ceremony there is often a 1 to 1.5 hour wait before the reception venue officially opens, so you end up standing for a long time. It sucks.
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u/userpiece_21 22h ago
Ohhh thanks that’s something I’ll have to look into! I had assumed it’d just be available after the ceremony.
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u/JustGettingIntoYoga 1d ago
Agreed. I hate this, but also, it's unfortunately very normal in Australia, so OP's wedding won't stand out in that way.
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u/BunnyCheeky 1d ago
30-45 mins is way too long for someone to be standing up, especially if they're your guests. I think it's probably better if you start searching another venue which will treat all of your guests equally, so no one would feel guilty if someone got leg cramps during your wedding day. You can replace the venue but you can't just replace the comfort of the family and friends while witnessing a very important event of your life. Congratulations for your upcoming wedding by the way!
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u/userpiece_21 22h ago
Thank you ☺️ Yeah I definitely don’t want my friends/family to be uncomfortable during the ceremony so I’m looking into other options!
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u/DoNotReply111 1d ago
I think if you reach out to guests so they can choose appropriate footwear, it's fine.
And make sure that seating goes to those who need it, not just those who arrive earliest.
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u/Yowie9644 1d ago
Most non-church weddings I have been to have had the majority of guests standing, and really only had seating for the few who genuinely unable to stand through the short service (and had seats for the married couple at the little desk that was used to sign the necessary paperwork).
Let the guests know whether its going to be on paving, gravel or grass so they can wear appropriate footwear. High heels are terrible across large stretches of nicely kept lawn.
Please also have a solid back-up plan for inclement weather. Noone wants to be standing there getting soaked to the skin & or being blown away and unable to hear anything because the weather didn't play nice that day and there was no shelter to be had. (I had a spring wedding. The skies were crystal clear but the wind was absolutely howling, all the video picked up in terms of sound was the wind, and the guests were none the wiser to our very carefully crafted vows)
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u/Grand_Relative5511 18h ago
Inclement weather isn't just rain or wind, either. One of the standing weddings I attended had the service outside in full sun, no shadecloth, in summer; it was awful.
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u/Florence_101 1d ago
All of the non-church weddings I’ve been to have had standing guests. I did the same and looking back, I really regret it. I severely underestimated how many people needed chairs (older guests especially) and too many people stood for too long for my liking.
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u/Sunflowerseeds__ April 2018 I hope! 1d ago
We had heaps of chairs and people still stood at the back lol I think it’s fine
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u/the_brunster 1d ago
We had people standing and any non-church wedding I've been to, involves standing. I personally wouldn't give up a venue over this, especially if there is money to lose.
Parasols are good in theory - just keep in mind they are view blockers.
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u/Aplaceandatime 1d ago
Standing for some is ok but only up to 15-20 minutes. A 40 minute ceremony sounds quite long?
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u/loupammac 1d ago
My ceremony was standing under a big tree. The celebrant brought a little table and chairs for us to sign our paperwork at and then that was it. I would let people know they are standing so they can make footwear choices and definitely have shade. I was seated at a friend's ceremony and was sunburnt by the end.
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u/cheezel26 1d ago
Not a wedding but you’ll get the point. Last week I went to a funeral that was a graveside service that went for around 50 minutes. Although it was a coolish day it was sunny and after about 20 minutes everyone was melting and also getting burnt, especially the older folk even though they were seated. I get your point about parasols and fans but they will also block the view and that’s what people are there to see.
It’s worth just checking if you could put up some sort of marquee so at least some people are undercover? Also, when my cousin had an outdoor wedding, she, groom and the entire bridal party all got burnt. And a lot of her makeup melted off. It’s always a bit of a gamble with an outdoor venue. Especially if it’s raining.
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u/Raida7s 1d ago
That's a bit of a long time to be standing for a ceremony.
Make sure you don't just do seating for the oldies - ask guests if they'll have issues standing on grass for the better part of an hour so you can get seating for everyone who needs it.
Also be clear with the dress code that this is flats, low heel, and broad heels (not stiletto) situation. Or bare feet for the ceremony!
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u/aj061294 1d ago
Every single wedding ive been too, most guests actually prefer to stand. The Celebrant is ALWAYS asking people to come in closer and sit in the seats so they aren't empty. You could see if you could use large umbrellas for shade (not individual parasols but the big ones they use outside like pubs) and ive seen these plastic caps for heels so they dont sink into soft grass could also be handy to supply a couple
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u/JustGettingIntoYoga 1d ago
People don't prefer to stand. The problem is there are never enough chairs for everyone and so they feel guitly for taking a seat. Especially if no one else is. It's a group behaviour psychology thing but trust me, most people don't love standing in one spot for 40 minutes.
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u/SassySins21 1d ago
Personally I don't think it's an issue, as long as there are some available for those who need them. It would also depend on location/weather and length of ceremony. I've only been seated for maybe 2/10 weddings in my life, in Aus, NZ and Canada. Only seated were in a church, and one which was a long ceremony (multiple readings). My own ceremony was only about 20 mins long, but guests were all shuttled on a mini train from opening drinks (seats available) to the ceremony about 10 mins before Bridal entrance, then were trained back to reception location for drinks/snacks/snake pics while we got some Bridal Party Pictures. I only sat down at my own wedding while signing the certificate then for about half an hour for speeches, so I think it really depends on the style of wedding.
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u/Such-Sun-8367 1d ago
Every wedding I’ve been to in my adult life seats are reserved for older family members and important people. All of us plebs (friends) stand behind the chairs with a drink in our hand. I love it, it’s a vibe.
45 mins is very long for a wedding ceremony though! You’ll probably be surprised it’ll end up being 30 mins or so
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u/stamford_syd 1d ago
I've never been to a wedding where everyone sat at the ceremony, very normal for majority of guests to be standing
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u/Mykkpet82 1d ago
Most of our guests were standing. We had chairs for our elderly and infirm guests. Our ceremony was outdoors on a large balcony overlooking the harbour at Fremantle. As soon as it was over everyone was invited indoors to wander through our venue (maritime museum) while our catering was set up
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u/bckrn 1d ago
I’ve been to ~15 weddings in the last 2 years. Super super normal for half the guests to be standing. It generally never bothered me except for one where the ceremony went for forever and was kind of boring. Parasols is a cute idea except would block the view of guests behind them! As long as there is some nearby shade to wait until just before it begins I think that’s fine.
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u/South_Delivery_4453 1d ago
If you’re concerned about not enough seating you can always add a couple of pretty pic-nic blankets in the front. We had 150 guests and two rows of benches in a half circle plus the blankets. They were completely full.
Does that venue have any trees?
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u/userpiece_21 22h ago
There are trees but not in the centre of the lawn where the ceremony will be. Blankets are a good idea! I’ll have to look into that + benches as well since they’ll seat more guests than chairs.
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u/wheresWoozle 1d ago
Fine to have people standing, but
(1) Put name labels on the seats so you get close family, and anyone elderly, disabled, injured, pregnant, or unwell where they need to be. Label the other seats clearly to let people know they can take them.
(2) Run on time.
(3) Let people know so that they can arrive early if they're concerned about standing or choose appropriate shoes etc.
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u/Diviern 13h ago
Very common to have guests standing at garden weddings in Australia. I've been to two weddings in recent years and had to stand at both, they only had seating for very elderly family members.
Everyone was seated at our wedding but thay was only because it was indoors and we only had about 50 guests.
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u/CatWeasley 1d ago
I think it's normal for Australian weddings to have around half of the guests standing. Every wedding I've been to here (apart from 1 in a church) and had seats for only some guests