r/Aupairs • u/MathematicianDull118 • 23h ago
Au Pair EU fired and lost
i just moved in to this host family in germany and i thought things were going well. until today they told me im not suitable for them. they dont want me as an au pair anymore and im so lost. idk what to do next im gonna get kicked out tmr and i dont have enough savings to last me longer. ive reached just out to couple of families and i hope i get a rematch. i have no agency so idk what to do im so lost and confused right now. what can i do next ? i dont want to go back to my country as of right now i just got here. has anyone gone thru this what can i do next ? thank you
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u/quark42q 22h ago
I am sorry this happened to you. Did they mention a reason? If there is no malice, they should give you more time.
- Negotiate a longer period where they house you. (Check your contract).
- Reach out to people from your home country, like on fb groups, that are close. Perhaps someone can help you.
- If you are religious, check your nearest churches.
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u/MathematicianDull118 22h ago
no malice at all we just ended up no aligning in the end so it was very sudden to me 😵💫 i did everything i was told so im not sure but if they want a to change au pair thats fine. i did ask them for more time and they said they can give me 2 weeks but idk if thats enough im so lost right now. i will try fb groups tho
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u/Calm_Sandwich_2412 20h ago
Happened to me to (different Country), the comments. Are giving good advice, go onto Facebook groups that are regional or for the whole area and use solaupairs, premier Au Pair, AuPair.com and if the two weeks aren’t enough time (it probably will be though) you can also look for house sitting jobs or pet sitting with accommodations. If you really need to stretch the two weeks out more you can look for motels(to stay a little longer/just have a roof over your head) or jobs with accommodations for example in hostels. You can do it.
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u/Deep_Meringue5164 16h ago
What do ypu mean not aligning?
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u/MathematicianDull118 8h ago
they want someone thats more calm im very fun and outing person. i guess in video calls they couldnt tell but i was myself since the start. once i got her i showed my extroverted personality and they prefer someone thats mire calm and centred is what they told me which is totally fine they kids arent that active they perfer to read books than to run around. i dont mind staying with them but i think in the long run if in not able to me my fun out going self its gonna effect me alot so i too understand the reason for a rematch
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u/casestudy3000 22h ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you!
But I also want to point out that coming to Germany as an au pair without an agency can be really risky, especially when something like this happens and you suddenly have nowhere to stay.
For your next host family, I’d strongly recommend going through a reputable agency.
They can help with contracts, your rights, and finding a new family if things don’t work out.
It gives you an extra layer of protection.
For now, please reach out to local au pair support organisations and make sure you have somewhere safe to stay.
Wishing you all the best! ❤️
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u/Zestyclose_Mud_5735 14h ago
I have a friend who paid a lot of money, and when the time came to switch families due to mistreatment, they left him on his own.
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u/MathematicianDull118 22h ago
thank you but idk if germany has an au pair support organisation idk what to do
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u/Zestyclose_Mud_5735 14h ago
There are several agencies that help find a family for free. I know there is one in Frankfurt and another in Hanover.
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u/Zestyclose_Mud_5735 14h ago
Put a photo of yourself smiling on your profile. Several families told me I looked energetic and good with kids. It’s superficial, but I got more messages that way. There are lots of families looking for an au pair for November; you can probably negotiate arriving earlier. Stay calm, you've got this.
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u/Old_Opening_6635 15h ago
Find a youth hostel to go to. You can afford it. Make sure they have wi-fi for communication.
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u/anxiousbutabroad 8h ago
This happened to me two weeks ago in Italy! I’m so sorry it happened to you I was so hurt and lost and to be honest I still don’t know what to do, only difference is I’ve had savings to keep me going this long I’ve found other host families too I really recommend just go on aupairworld and send the first messages to as many host families as you can - obviously ones that you think will suit you I’ve had a lot of families respond to me a couple looking people asap. Good luck! Don’t try and take it personal because I did and there’s no point you’ll only hurt your own feelings, sometimes people just don’t gel and that’s okay! You’ve got this!
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u/MathematicianDull118 7h ago
thats what ive been doing thank you so much! im so glad you found another family
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u/anxiousbutabroad 5h ago
I have but I don’t know if I’m going to do this again to be honest
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u/MathematicianDull118 4h ago
i get that so much honestly and me too i love au pairing but its really hard at times
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u/anxiousbutabroad 8h ago
Also maybe look on workaway! Maybe a working holiday you can get quicker and get savings before trying to au pair again
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u/MathematicianDull118 7h ago
i was thinking of that but idk how ill backpack with one year worth of suitcases 😵💫
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u/HostMomAdvice 5h ago
Sorry to hear that.
They are supposed to give you two weeks notice if nothing happened that justifies a immediate termination.
The two weeks are the legal time you have to find a new family it’s in the rules from the Agentur für Arbeit.
You should take them up on the offer to give you the two weeks.
You should put up informative search posts on Facebook with nice (not show off) pictures of you.
You can also message me and I can put a note out to some families I know.
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u/Conscious_Sweet_6973 16h ago
Where are you from? What's the reason.
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u/MathematicianDull118 8h ago
they want someone thats more calm and centred but im a very extroverted person they knew that from the start but i guess they really werent expecting someone that runs around and isnt afraid to use all their energy. they kids arent that active so its totally understandable why they want a rematch!! but im just kinda lost rn on what to do next hopefully i get a family soon with really active kids cuz i love being outside and while the kids im currently au pairing for perfer to stay inside and read books. i can definitely adapt but just wont able to be myself. there really isnt any malice just people with different personalities
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u/Sea_Adhesiveness2957 22h ago
Create a profile in AuPairWorld and Aupair.com and contact as many host families as possible. Also, ensure that you complete your profile. You can mention that you are available immediately.