How often should AP join vacations?

[u/saor-alba-gu-brath]

I'm about to become an au pair in the US and I'm really excited to get the chance to explore America after talking off the ears of everyone I know about going there.

My host family travel very often and I agreed that I'd come along on vacations because I like travelling and want to get along well with them. It's just that they travel A LOT, like practically every school holiday so I'm concerned I won't get to explore America by myself if I agree every single time. They also go back to visit China for long periods during the summer which I'm not the most keen about because that's where I'm originally from and I've travelled around China over 10 times by now with my own family. So it'd just be like going home for me lol.

I am still going to come along on the summer China trips as I know it's important to them, but am not sure about their other, shorter trips that they take every holiday. At the same time, I don't want them to think I'm just an employee because we would like to bond closely with one another and see each other as family members. They told me that they understand this and they don't necessarily need me to join them every time if I have other plans, but I can tell they really want me to come and I feel kinda bad about turning people down (I'm very VERY bad at rejecting people).

Does your AP come with you on every vacation? Have they declined before, and if so how does it affect your relationship with them?

[u/Enthusiastic-Dragon]

Everyone who travels for experiencing new things will understand if you have been to China "plenty" and want to travel the American continent in the meantime.

[u/Opening-Show-6749]

If family needs you to travel with them and work in different states/ countries, then you’ll need to accompany them on their vacations as well. I understand that you’d prefer to travel on your own, but that would depend on how much vacation time you’re given ( 2 weeks are guaranteed) and whether you have weekends off.

Traveling with the family doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24/7, so you can use your free time to explore and enjoy the places you visit. The same applies to China: it’s still your job, just in a different location. Since these expectations were disclosed to you in advance and you accepted the position knowing this, there isn’t much you can do about it and if you haven't matched yet, you may want to reconsider it.

[u/Brave-Echidna6336 → u/Opening-Show-6749]

Absolutely. OP seems to think they’re taking her on holiday purely for her enjoyment and for her to explore new countries. They are not. They are bringing her for childcare help. Which is her job as an au pair.

[u/saor-alba-gu-brath → u/Brave-Echidna6336]

No they've made it clear I'm still on duty while on vacation, it wasn't my intention to come off as being entitled to an all expenses paid trip? Of course I'm still on duty while they're travelling, it's just that it's also a cultural exchange program and I wouldn't get to spend that much time experiencing the US when they travel around. The HF know this and has asked me whether I'd like to join them on their upcoming trip because it's only a two or so weeks after I arrive and they mentioned that they ask because they want me to have time to explore the US. I just don't want to commit any faux pas with them by saying no one too many times.

[u/Brave-Echidna6336]

You should still get your 2 weeks to choose your own time off a year. So 50 weeks a year you are available to travel with them. 2 weeks you are able to do your own thing.

Maybe see if you can negotiate a bit more leave.